Month: October 2009
Frivolous Academic ‘Cheese Butty’ Research Hit
The New Labour government’s Ministry for Wasting Time & Money has come under attack from the Tories – yet again – for commissioning academic research into such insane project studies as how to make the perfect cheese toastie sandwich –…
Donald Trump Statues Set to Fire Much of Scotland
A radical anarchist campaign group dead set against Donald Trump’s £1 zillion golf resort project at Menie in the coastal province of McTwatshire has dressed up statues around Scotland parodying the avaricious American tycoon. The Menie Liberation Front group said…
PM Gordon Brown Runs Amok – Millions Feared Dead
A most beleaguered Gordon ‘Culpability’ Brown returned to the airwaves today following his previous evening’s TV interview disaster as he tried to end the annual New Labour party conference with at least some portion of the voting public and traditional…
FOX News Agrees to Add Satire Disclaimer
In a stunning turnaround, the allegedly “Fair & Balanced” cable news channel run by Rupert Murdoch may soon willingly add a satire disclaimer to their site, stating that all news is fabricated and meant only for humorous effect. The programming…
Library Scissors: Weapons of Mass Distraction?
Greater London’s Scumdale Hamlets council has apologised after a student was refused the loan of a pair of scissors in a library because she ‘might stab a member of staff’. Rita McScrunt, a 15-year old mother of three, had her…
EU Big Brother to Microchip All UK Pets
Now even dogs and cats – and likewise all British household pets – from the cuddly furry to the feathery plumaged to piscine and reptilian scaly – cannot escape the clutches of the Orwellian surveillance state. Under EU plans being…
Woman Labeled ‘Too Dumb’ to Marry, Though Technically Doable
UK social workers following the latest batch of the EU’s totalitarian Communist Federation regulations being imposed on this once-sceptered isle have banned a young woman from her own wedding in a ridiculous broughaha over whether she is bright enough to…
Kid’s Cold Hits Head Like Like Hammer of Snot
If ever I had reason to complain about something, this would probably be it. I mean, I would complain about it, if only I could, but I just can’t. I’m much too under the weather to protest. Still, I have…
Indian Space Probe Finds Water on Moon
A surprising amount of water has been found to exist on the Moon’s surface, especially so in the craters which have been discovered to contain muddy puddles just waiting to be drained and the liquid purified for drinking. Data from…
DNA Tests Reveal Hitler was a Woman
A large bone fragment of Adolf Hitler’s skull has been revealed as being that of a woman, according to the latest forensic tests carried out in the US by Princeton’s prestigious Institute of Advanced Guessology. The section of bone –…