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Donald Trump Statues Set to Fire Much of Scotland

Donald Trump Statues Set to Fire Much of Scotland

A radical anarchist campaign group dead set against Donald Trump’s £1 zillion golf resort project at Menie in the coastal province of McTwatshire has dressed up statues around Scotland parodying the avaricious American tycoon.

The Menie Liberation Front group said the joke Trump masks, derogatory signs and golf clubs had been added to about 200 statues in Aberdeen, Edinburgh, Glasgow and Stirling.

However Chief Inspector Hector McScrunt of the McTwatshire Police told a reporter from the Graft & Corruption Gazette that Mr. Trump’s lawyers had ordered them to launch an investigation into the incidents in Aberdeen.

McTwatshire Police are now looking for a man wearing a non-descript tartan kilt and tam o’ shanter – believed to be a Scot – in connection with the statue incidents.

A spokesman for the militant Menie protest group – speaking on conditions of anonymity – (Jocko McGitt) – informed Fux News “We’re dressing up famous Scottish statues as the American tycoon to symbolise the way Trump thinks he can walk all over our beloved Highlands – bribing and coercing crony politicians and scumbag council officials to grant him planning permission for his schemes to shag up our coastal environment for sheer profit.”

“This development has gone too far. Throwing families from their homes for a private leisure and sports development that’s not intended in any way to benefit the local community is outrageous.”

One further stumbling block to the proposed 5,000 acre Trumpton resort still simmering radically away on the political back burner is the ‘Site of Special Scientific Interest’ endangered species eco-dilemma just waiting to boil over in a mass of sizzle and steam and put a further damper on Trump’s plans.

The McTwatshire Menie coastal dunes are home to a rare species of gastropod – the nigh-on extinct Greater Crested Slug – indigenous to the area – and the insular nesting grounds for the equally-endangered McTavish’s Whooping Cormorant.

Conversely Trump, a devotee and worshipper of the God of greed and lucre – Mamon – hopes to bulldoze the dunes flat in the process of constructing the world’s greatest twin course golf resort at Menie as a grand temple of reverence and veneration to his heathen Deity – so the survival odds for the Greater Crested Slug and McTavish’s Whooping Cormorant are basically fucked.

The proposal for the golf courses and resort was originally rejected by an honest portion of the Menie council before being called in by the Scottish government and approved after several top rank political palms were suitably lubricated.

Hence the US tycoon’s model ‘Trumpton’ seven star resort has now been granted outline planning permission for two golf courses, a residential village and a hotel – complete with its own executive jet landing strips, heli-port and deep water marina.

Mr Trump has said his vision comprises two world class 18-hole golf courses, 950 holiday homes and 500 houses – plus a seven-star hotel – all of which would be well beyond the financial reach of the rural working class local population to buy – or afford membership of the elitist golf club.

The Trump Organisation claims it has made “incredibly generous” offers to the owners of several homes and farms on some hundreds of acres of land which form an integral and centrepiece part of their planned golf resort.

However local residents at Menie in McTwatshire have been refusing to sell to the US scumbag billionaire on principle of opposing Trumpism alone – regardless of monetary enticements or threats of nasty men coming around to break their legs.

Trump Corporation spokeswoman Fellatia van der Gobble told Pox News the local die-hards been offered the chance to buy new sheds and lean-to’s at cost price several miles up the coast if they put their cross on the deed of sale’s dotted line.

Fellattia continued “This development is aimed at wealthy foreign types – especially so the oil-rich Arabs.”
“We don’t really want a bunch of unwashed tartan-kilted ethnic barbarians wandering around the complex swigging on cans of Youngers Tartan Keg, beating the merry hell out of each other with nine irons and shouting “See you Jimmy!”

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- who has written 211 posts on GlossyNews.com.

Rusty's Skewed News Views are spoof publications, fired by the ironies of human nature and tempered with elements of satire and parody, and should not, therefore, be taken too seriously. These are inspired by traveling around the Earth more times than Skylab and composed while observing the inherent idiocies of Mankind. Thus lawyers be duly advised : All libel writs issued on behalf of offended humourless ego's and / or those blighted by unqualified arrogance herein lampooned may be addressed to : Rusty the Boddington's Badger, Igloo 27, Pasquinade Gardens, Penguin Parade, Ross Ice Shelf, Antarctica - or via TheSatireStall.Blogspot.com

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One Response to “Donald Trump Statues Set to Fire Much of Scotland”

  1. Max420 says:

    Is it just me, or are we all just done with “the Don”?

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