Category: World News
Netanyahu: Palestinian settlements are an obstacle to peace
Israel Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu today denounced the establishment of a new Palestinian settlement in the area that Israel calls E1. The Palestinians are calling the new neighborhood Bab al-Shams (“Gate of the Sun”). RIGHT: Palestinians build a new settlement…
China Becomes Puppet State of Malta
News sources from the Far East are reporting that a successful coup has brought the People’s Republic of China under Maltese control as a puppet state. Sleeper agents from the island nation are believed to have been activated last evening…
Egyptian President Says He is “Too Cool for School”
Egypt’s young people are outraged following President Mohammed Morsi’s announcement that he is “Too cool for school.” Morsi reportedly made the declaration before a crowd of fifth graders during a school visit in the Cairo suburbs meant to promote Egypt’s…
Luxembourg Annexes Germany
The European community is in shock following Luxembourg’s decision to deploy troops and annex the Federal Republic of Germany. According to preliminary reports, Luxembourger troops entered the province of North Rhine-Westphalia early Thursday morning and proceeded through Lower Saxony towards…
Sick Of Fighting In Mideast, World Builds Wall Around Israel And Palestine.
A spontaneously assembled group of nations, tired of the constant turmoil coming out of Israel and Palestine, have built a wall entirely surrounding both lands. These countries, after attempting for years to introduce peace initiatives to both lands, finally reached…
Scientists Dismayed As BP Throws More Oil-Absorbent Cash at Gulf
Since the 2010 explosion on the Deep Water Horizon offshore oil rig, which killed 11 people and spilled 205 million gallons of crude oil, British Petroleum has been pumping billions of oil-absorbing dollar bills into the Gulf of Mexico and…
2012 – The Year in Review, Part 2: July – December
We continue this week with Part II of Glossy News’ Annual Year in Review for 2012. If you missed Part I, don’t worry, you didn’t miss much. But you can check it out here. Let’s continue now with the Year…
2012 – The Year in Review, Part 1: January – June
As has been the proud tradition of this prestigious news publication since 1975, it is time for Glossy News’ Annual Year in Review for 2012, where we look back at the important news stories of the past twelve months that…
Heartwarming Story Emerges out of Massacre in Sudan
While unearthing a mass grave in the South of Sudan, a country where religious division fuels an ethnic cleansing that provides a bloody front for a resource war, a Red Cross forensics worker found a puppy, alive among the remains…
‘Over 150 Survivors Were Trapped Inside The Titanic For Up To 5 Years,’ Claims Naval Expert
Woods Hole, MA – (SatireWorld.com) – After reviewing almost 5,000 digital photographs taken from inside the sunken luxury liner the Titanic, a Woods Hole scientist has concluded that there were survivors who lived inside the ship for up to five…