‘Out-of-touch, Unelected Elitist’ Theresa May Slammed by Rival Gang of Out-of-touch, Unelected Elitists

Theresa May’s Brexit negotiations have just hit a sour note with accusations by a gang of undemocratic, over-privileged elitists that May and her party are a gang of undemocratic, over-privileged elitists.

Irascible cognac guzzler and part-time high-grade prosecco enthusiast Jean-Claude Juncker moans:

It is simply beyond all comprehension how the British put up with this horrid gang of failed aristocrats, crony-capitalist swindlers and cynical charitable grafters.

For, unlike the patriotic defenders of Europe who are selflessly trying to save Britain from the unimaginable, unbearable consequences of their poor life decisions, Theresa May is an unelected, authoritarian, ‘princess pushy’ with a deeply paternalistic streak. Her flamboyant Gallic pretensions, and her insistence she is a ‘safe pair of hands,’ standing aloof from all merely partisan and parochial concerns, is an utter joke.

Sometime failed Quentin Tarantino cameo and aspiring low-grade James Bond Not-So-Super-Villain Guy Verhofstadt chimes in:

The British are clearly idiots. Now, if only they had thought about the importance of preserving proper electoral procedure, the rule of law, popular sovereignty, and the necessity of having leaders as close to the ground as possible, instead of being governed by aloof Olympians and smarmy, smuggy-bummed little Buddhas and entitled princelings…

Well, they could have binned Theresa May, and chosen to stay in the EU instead!

Jeremy ‘Jihadi Jez’ Corbyn is unimpressed.

They’re both as bad as each other, as far as I’m concerned…

he mutters, while tucking into a nice ethically sourced vegan quinoa burger in the Kensington Waitrose.


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