Tag Archive | "european union"

Bjork, Pirates, Determined To Help Iceland Out of Economic Hardship


REYKJAVIK, Iceland (GlossyNews) — Pop singer Bjork (pronounced BEE-YORKKKKK, just like you are upchucking a bad pizza), always a fountainhead of new and eccentric ideas, has decided to help alleviate Iceland’s terrible economic problems.

Iceland, long a self reliant land, made a bad mistake by investing heavily in British stocks which plummeted in value during the current recession. Iceland teeters on bankruptcy. Read the full story

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Paul McCartney Ruled Dead


The Hague, Netherlands (GlossynEUs) — The EU Commission for Historicity today rendered a long awaited verdict on the status of Sir Paul McCartney.

The EUCMA investigation was prompted after renewed controversy spawned by audio tapes purportedly from the late George Harrison. In the tapes, a fascinating ‘James Bondish’ tale is recounted, wherein Paul was killed in a car wreck in 1966 and UK authorities forced the substitution of ‘fake Paul’ upon the unwilling Fab three.

In a Glossy News exclusive, the purported owner of the ‘Harrison’ tapes, noted documentarian Rob Graves said, “It’s all airtight, just like Paul’s casket really.” Read the full story

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Greece Accidentally Receives Loan for Musical


NEW YORK, NY (GlossyNews) — On May 18, 2010, the economically embattled country of Greece received 14.5 billion euros ($17.9 billion USD) in aid from what Greek bankers presumed to be the European Union.

A banking official close to orchestrating a deal with the EU announced the following day, “The 14.5 billion euros was transferred to Greece a short while ago, through an anonymous donor that we believe to be the ECB [European Central Bank].” Read the full story

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Icelanders Have Their Revenge, By Odin!


Reykjavik, Iceland (GlossyNews) — Hammered by massive financial debts to Europe and Britain in particular, Iceland has come up with a hammer of its own to strike back with. Returning to its traditional religious roots and the old gods of the Norsemen, the Icelanders have invoked their wrath to aid them in their revenge on an unforgiving European economic situation that spells doom for them. Read the full story

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Common Purpose? – Dial 666


There are now legions of people in the UK cognisant that the planned Kaflaesque-Orwellian European Union Superstate – following the manipulated ratification of the Lisbon Treaty – is just a matter of time and not one of ‘what if’ but simply ‘when’. Read the full story

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