Category: Politics
Gun Laws, Same-Sex Marriage, Women’s Rights, Economy, Healthcare Reform, Abortion, Stem Cell Research, Syria, Education Set to Become Number One Issue of Election
WASHINGTON D.C. – With the presidential election just 3 months away, political insiders believe that the one central issue facing the candidates in November will be gun laws, same-sex marriage, women’s rights, the economy, healthcare reform, and just generally everything…
Cocktail Party Deteriorates Into Political Party
INDIANAPOLIS – A cocktail party took just two hours to deteriorate into a fledgling political party Monday, after the event’s laid-back atmosphere took on a more serious and philosophical tone. Guests arrived at The Hilton Indianapolis Hotel in buoyant mood,…
Congress to Pit Literal Donkey v. Elephant to Determine Best Political Party
Democrats and GOP Anxious to Find Out How Animals That Represent Them Will Fare in Battle For Zoological Dominance WASHINGTON DC—In a startling attempt to determine, once in for all, which party reigns supreme in US government, members of congress…
Edward Snowden, Known Criminal, Actually a Hero?
The NSA was doing bad things, Snowden knew it even as a low-level contractor, and he blew the whistle. (In)conveniently, Obama has removed “protect whistleblower” from his website, but maybe this makes it all the more poignant. Here’s this guy,…
Libertarian Congress Legalizes Child Labor
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a landmark vote on Monday morning, the Libertarian-controlled Congress passed a bill eliminating all prohibitions on child labor in the United States. Standing outside the Capitol Building, large swaths of supporters wearing Ayn Rand t-shirts emblazoned…
Al Franken Reportedly Butthurt Over C-SPAN Broadcast
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Critics on the right and left are calling for C-SPAN to apologize after one of its production crew members wrongly configured Senator Al Franken’s identification bar during a broadcast, leading to heaps of butthurt. The incident occurred…
Speak English or Go Home, This is ‘Merica (comic)
The turbo-patriots like to cling to some notion of America than never was, like saying we’re a Christian nation (we aren’t,) or that English should be our national language (it shouldn’t.) If you really want to lavish your founders with…
Republicans Demand Recount of Presidential Election Citing Illegal Zombie Voters
A U.S. Presidential election recount has been demanded by Republicans because it has been discovered that illegal zombies have been allowed to vote. Apparently in their over-exuberance to get people out to vote Democratic campaigners accidentally (or, perhaps intentionally as…
To Avoid Political Scandal, Devoted Wife Teresa Heinz Kerry Becomes Ill
Just as the media started to descend on Secretary of State John Kerry for vacationing aboard his yacht while Egypt crumbled, his wife had some sort of mysterious seizure taking the spotlight off him. “My wife is so wonderful she…
State of Indiana Calls In Sick
INDIANAPOLIS – Insisting that it must have caught one of those overnight things that is going around, the entire state of Indiana called off work Monday, significantly affecting production across the Hoosier state. Even though the state’s population didn’t sound…