Somewhere In Colorado….

Sometimes skiing can seem like this. After learning the last two years on slopes in Colorado and Utah. They have green runs here that would be blacks in the Midwest! They have a green run at Beaver Creek Colorado called Sawbuck whose purpose is to kill off the newbies so there is more room for the locals. It is so steep at times that it hurts your knees just at look down it! Read more Somewhere In Colorado….

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Bored Donald Trump Plans Orgy for West Wing

The White House announced yesterday, that the “you’re fired” bo$$, Donald J. Trump, was ranting about how bored he is with all the talk about people’s lives in the balance, do gooders, strikes, furloughs, whiny workers, and the general lack of attention he has been getting lately.

{paraphrasing} “I mean seriously? We are more concerned about government employees not getting paid than how I look on camera?” According to unnamed (Deep State) reporters, if he had to be the boss all the time, he might as well take advantage of the down time (due to government shutdown at the time of this writing)…to have some fun for a change. Read more Bored Donald Trump Plans Orgy for West Wing

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Democrats Make Counter Proposal- Build A Wall Around Trump As Well

After weeks of a political game of shutdown the Dems have made a counter proposal that has intrigued many. They offered to pass funding for the wall Trump has demanded on the Mexico border in return for there being a wall built around Trump himself.

“It would be advantageous in so many ways!” crooned Nancy Pelosi. “It would bring some much needed peace and quiet to the Hill. It would quell a lot of the derision that is separating our nation. It would also make it harder for him to grope women.”

A design was forwarded illustrating a circular wall built on a platform on wheels that would be built big enough to hold a toilet, sink, small refrigerator, desk, a book shelf large enough to house his collection of Hustler Magazines and a small bed. Several large screen TV’s that only receive Fox News would be mounted on all sides of the enclosure. Food could be passed through a slit prison style and electricity would be supplied by overhead cables. He would be allowed to get out on weekends. Melania would be able to make conjugal visits, but only of her own free will.

The wall could be easily transported to other locations like Trump’s Manhattan condo or his Mar-A Lago or Timbuktu (if he weren’t paying too close of attention). It could be made fold-able to fit onto Air Force One. There have been suggestions from some quarters of sending it to the moon with him in it, which is an impracticable (but understandable!) suggestion.

There has even been talk of making the wall Twitter proof, an idea that even some Republicans and Mexicans support enthusiastically.

So far there has been strong interest in the Legislature on this proposal and some quieter interest in the Senate. A few enthusiastic, but anonymous emails supporting the move have appeared coming from the White House and one particularly impassioned, anonymous one from Trump’s home itself written in imperfect English with a Slovenian slant to the words.

Strangely enough as well, Mexico offered to pay for this version of a wall.

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Lady Gaga Has Second Thoughts About Her “Do What You Want (With My Body)” Duet With R. Kelly.

Lady Gaga now regrets the song she did together with the popular pervert, proliferator of pubescent pornography and deflowerer of underage girls and perhaps small furry animals R. Kelly. The Ga now says of her 2013 conjugal ditty that ‘Do What You Want With My Body’ now disturbs her terribly. “Not only did we sing it, we did it.” confessed the singer fresh from her Golden Globe victory with the song “Shallow.” Read more Lady Gaga Has Second Thoughts About Her “Do What You Want (With My Body)” Duet With R. Kelly.

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Trump Being A President Is As Battery Acid Is To Being A Skin Conditioner.

Here, I’ll help you out with the first few. Read ‘Trump is to being President as…’ and then finish the sentence with any of the phrases that are listed below. Don’t worry, it’s easy!

Trump is to being President as:

french fries are to being a gourmet meal.

the Edsel is to being a Grand Prix winner.

boxing is to being a Sunday church event.

syphilis is to being a factor in a date’s attractiveness.

(OK, you should have the gist of it now. You are on your own from here on). Read more Trump Being A President Is As Battery Acid Is To Being A Skin Conditioner.

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The Great American Novel Has Finally Been Written! Which of Trump’s New Books Is It?

Getting ready for the day he leaves office, (which might not be far away), President-Select Trump has a whole host of ghost-written books all ready for publication to make sure he stays in the public spotlight long after the Oval Office lights fade. (Also to make sure the mullah keeps rolling in; he is getting up there in years, after all!)

Maybe You Can’t Fool All The People All The Time, But I Am Going To Give It a Try Any Way.

The Power of Obnoxiousness – An Awesome Tool To Becoming To Gaining Power And Becoming Really Rich.

As President, I Am The Biggest Winner Of All And You Are All Losers. Read more The Great American Novel Has Finally Been Written! Which of Trump’s New Books Is It?

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The Unofficial & Definitely Un-Presidential Meanings of ‘POTUS’

Our national beloved-love of acronyms has brought us a new term for our fearless Fuhrers. The term, which took me a while to understand (as everyone tells you acronyms but doesn’t bother to translate them for you!) is ‘POTUS’ – the initials standing for ‘President Of The United States.’ Read more The Unofficial & Definitely Un-Presidential Meanings of ‘POTUS’

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