Posted in Entertainment Politics Top Stories

Pentagon Plans War with China to Make Coronavirus Death Toll Not Seem as Bad

ARLINGTON, VA – Classified documents leaked over the weekend show that the Department of Defense has been planning airstrikes and subsequent troop deployments in China in an effort to minimize the perceived harm caused by the coronavirus. The documents, entitled…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Pentagon Plans War with China to Make Coronavirus Death Toll Not Seem as Bad
Posted in Top Stories

Pro-Plague Demonstrations Continue in Michigan

LANSING, Mich. – Scores of armed protestors swarmed the Michigan state capitol building, demanding to be let out of the suggested, but ultimately voluntary, stay-at-home order the governor issued last month to slow the spread of the coronavirus. Ignoring social…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Pro-Plague Demonstrations Continue in Michigan
Posted in Entertainment Politics

TRUMP NEWS CONFERENCE IN THE NEAR FUTURE

Good afternoon, vile, evil, smelly, ugly, evil, evil members of the third-rate reporters who should kill themselves in a disgusting horrible – the pussies should throw acid in their faces. Let’s forget the virus for now. So, so depressing although…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! TRUMP NEWS CONFERENCE IN THE NEAR FUTURE
Posted in Entertainment Politics

Trumpisms and Virusisms 8.0

226 Suggestion — Instead of calling coronavirus the “Chinese virus,” let’s call it the “Trump virus” or “Donny’s hoax.” 227 How to enforce social distancing — add to the nation’s water supply a chemical that induces mild autism so we…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Trumpisms and Virusisms 8.0
Posted in Health Serious Commentary

A Warning from Devon: Coronavirus is NOT About You!

Devon – where the welcome is as warm as the weather. “Gerroff moi laaand!” This is how you exercise social distancing, kids. Those of you too cool/selfish to adhere to the containment advice, please use condoms over the next few…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! A Warning from Devon: Coronavirus is NOT About You!
Posted in Health Politics

BREAKING NEWS! TRUMP LEARNS CORONAVIRUS ABC’S!”

As everyone knows, President Trump fails to grasp the danger of the coronavirus pandemic because nobody has bothered to explain it to him in ways he’ll understand.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! BREAKING NEWS! TRUMP LEARNS CORONAVIRUS ABC’S!”
Posted in Entertainment Health

Coronavirus: Scenes From The New Musical

The following scenes are excerpted from the new musical, Coronavirus, originally scheduled to appear at The Lyceum Theater on Broadway starting March 22nd, 2020.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Coronavirus: Scenes From The New Musical
Posted in Health World News

Trump Is Deluded About Coronavirus!

You guys probably wonder – how long will this plague last? Well, apparently, very long. But according to President Trump at least the quarantine will be over!

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Trump Is Deluded About Coronavirus!
Posted in Health Politics World News

Democrats & CNN Denounce Trump’s ‘Hateful Attitude’ to Mass-Murdering Death Plague

The Democratic Party have come out all guns blazing against Trump’s increasingly intolerant, hateful and belligerent rhetoric against… An evil virus that has already killed over 15 000 people worldwide.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Democrats & CNN Denounce Trump’s ‘Hateful Attitude’ to Mass-Murdering Death Plague
Posted in Entertainment Politics

Bringing Down the Haaaaaaas! Weekly Review: & What’s Coming Next in Satire?!

In a time of trouble, the laughs just keep on coming! No matter what! Thanks for another amazing week at Glossy News Satire! Thanks for all the reads and shares… Both for the site and for our social media! Well,…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Bringing Down the Haaaaaaas! Weekly Review: & What’s Coming Next in Satire?!