AMES, IA —GlossyNews The Iowa GOPTea party Straw Poll August 13th will be the more unusual considering the political times it will record. GOPTea Chairman Matt Strawn, one-N-short-of-namesaking the Iowa Straw Poll, announced today that the listing of candidates will be quite unique in 2011, as it will be a ballot with 10 blank name-spaces. Read the full story

In short, digital enhancement of what was once thought to be video of an innocent family outing on a fateful day in American history now suggests the truth of 9-11 has long been packaged in a tissue of lies.

At this writing, no major news outlets have seen the video. Word of it first leaked out last week via internet postings by a shadowy group calling itself ‘The Guardians.’ Read the full story

Dramatic drops in ratings combined with a lack of any reputable (top-of-market-paying) advertiser willing to be part of his show have finally taken their toll on Glenn Beck and his FOXNews program.

Beck offered a rare olive branch, saying, “…I want to verify something that is true,” which marked a noted departure for Beck, who normally avoids verifying the truth, preferring only espouses crazy conspiracy theories and conspicuous product placement for his gold, seed and Armageddon survival oriented sponsors. Read the full story

I’ve been gracious about this for years, but at some point even the most jaded of satirist has to throw up his hands and say there simply has to be some grand conspiracy at work. Perhaps there isn’t. Perhaps it’s pure coincidence that the same guy who published stories about what a worthless bucket of brackish humanity Paris Hilton is would then find himself on the outs with Hilton Hotels for years to come. Read the full story

Abercrombie, MI (GlossyNews) — Breaking News: A Christian militia, made up entirely of horses, was arrested today for planning a stampede through the middle of Main Street, USA on July 4th.

The leader of the herd, known only as Star, a wild Mustang from Utah, has confessed his organization was intent on creating anarchy Read the full story

BOSTON, MA (GlossyNews) — First-time author Calvin Klavan has touched many nerves with his newly published, “The Keller Fraud: It was just a bad astigmatism.” In the 657 page narrative, Klavan posits a seemingly bizarre take on Keller, the beloved symbol of triumph against all odds. The book was bound to stir controversy, the author was quick to admit to Glossy News reporters. Read the full story

Virginia Beach, Va. – Presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee met in secret with Dr. Pat Robertson at his Regent University offices recently, and we’ve got the exclusive on this private meeting.

At first glance, the meeting would seem to have been a request for Rev. Robertson’s support. Having one of the nation’s best-known televangelists publicly voice political support could help Huckabee in his quest to reassure conservative Republicans that he is the candidate they want because of his views on abortion rights and gay marriage. Read the full story

In a stunning turnaround, the allegedly “Fair & Balanced” cable news channel run by Rupert Murdoch may soon willingly add a satire disclaimer to their site, stating that all news is fabricated and meant only for humorous effect. The programming and editorial slant is not expected to change as a result, but it is hoped the satire disclaimer will deflect legal issues raised by the constant lies, hate speech and abusive hyperbole. Read the full story

A woman whose hair was cut in a Mohican style and dyed incandescent vomit green to raise money for the charity ‘Brain Dead’ was refused entry to Harrods in Shitesbridge because she breached the store’s regulations banning both Cowboys and Indians. Read the full story