NEW CNN CONSPIRACY THEORY! “The Yellow Jackets DON’T EXIST!”

After years of being  unfairly targeted for their principled anti-Saddam coverage, universally beloved and admired centrist news corporation CNN have finally acknowledge the debt they owe to free hearts across the world (a phrase they borrowed from Reagan and Maggie Thatcher; you can look it up!)

The Mainstream Media stand with Refuse Fascism, Antifa, the Revolutionary Communist Party, the Weather Underground, the Unabomber, the Palestinian Resistance, the Open Society Foundation, the Nation of Islam, & all others who are ready to stand in solidarity with #ResistTrump!
In uncompromising, uncritical solidarity with our core allies, the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, we say this:

We agree with Quran 5:33-35! The penalty for those who wage war against CNN & our news messengers, who strive upon earth to foment chaos, is nothing but to be killed or crucified, or that their hands & feet be cut off from opposite sides, or that they be exiled from the land!

In such a context, where CNN are spreading nothing but love and peace and tolerance, it’s not surprising to see more trouble from worldwide haters.

To name but one example:

The FAKE NEWS Russian media continue to dishonestly claim the Yellow Vests exist, rather than being paid actors bussed in by Steve Bannon and Marine Le Pen! YET MORE EVIDENCE IT IS A HOAX, PAID FOR BY THE ENEMIES OF WALL STREET, SILICON VALLEY AND CNN!!!!

The Yellow Jackets conspiracy theory is FAKE NEWS! #YELLYWOOD don’t exist. The imaginary ‘Yellow Jackets’ is a false flag by our enemies who HATE AMERICA AND THE MSM! Anti-MACRON is anti-AMERICA!!!!!!

Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong Un are bussing in paid protestors to make it look like the #YellowJackets actually exist! There need to be more people talking about this conspiracy against the American people and our universally admired mainstream media corporations!

If the Yellow Vests ACTUALLY EXISTED & weren’t a joint Russian/North Korean/British/Iranian/Chinese PSY-OP, then we would OBVIOUSLY have mentioned this ‘NEWS’ you speak of! If we haven’t, then the Yellow Jackets are quite clearly FAKE NEWS designed to confuse ignorant rednecks!

Upon being asked whether utterly unhinged rants like these has anything to do with their current plummeting figures, CNN proudly preened:

This never happened! Russia and Venezuela gave this story to the right wing media so that Americans would lose faith in democracy, and start getting involved in extremist ideas like pulling out of Iraq, or cutting the Pentagon and CIA budgets.

It remains to be seen what action the Supreme Court will take to defend the world’s most universally admired American news outlet.

 

 

 

Author: Wallace Runnymede

Wallace is the editor of Brian K. White's epic website, Glossy News! Email him with your content at wallacerunnymede#gmail.com (Should be @, not #!) Or if you'd like me to help you tease out some ideas that you can't quite put into concrete form, I'd love to have some dialogue with you! Catch me on Patreon too, or better still, help out our great writers on the official Glossy News Patreon (see the bottom of the homepage!) Don't forget to favourite Glossy News in your browser, and like us on Facebook too! And last but VERY MUCH not the least of all... Share, share, SHARE! Thanks so much for taking the time to check out our awesome site!

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