Search Results for: obama
Invisible Hand Sees its own Shadow, Two More Fiscal Quarters of Economic Downturn
New York, NY– On wall street today, the opening bell signaled one of the institution’s more macabre traditions, releasing the invisible hand, to determine whether it can see its own shadow or not. This tradition dates back to Adam Smith’s…
WikiLeaks Apologizes for Accidentally Releasing Everyone’s E-mail
LONDON – The anti-secrecy organization WikiLeaks today issued a public apology for what it termed a “programming error” that resulted in the accidental release of all deleted messages of the world’s e-mail users. “We sincerely regret this error,” WikiLeaks founder…
A Candid Peek Into Sex Lives of the Candidates
The current contenders for the 2012 U.S. presidential election have already stated their positions on a range of key issues such as the economy, taxes, education, immigration, social policy, and national security. But one obvious question still remains. What are…
Useful New Keyboard Shortcuts
Most users of the Windows operating system are familiar with such frequently used keyboard shortcuts as Ctrl+C for copying selected text or Ctrl+V for inserting text. A number of new keyboard shortcuts have recently been introduced to assist users in handling…
Republicans Claim Inheritance Tax Owed on Deficit Inherited from Bush
Republicans continue to assure the wealthiest Americans that no new taxes will be levied against them. However, with the Tea Party breathing down their necks and threatening to withhold votes if something isn’t done to get the budget under control,…
N. Dakota Found to be Illegitimate State; Canada Seizes It
A recent disturbing discovery by a North Dakotan historian has revealed a disturbing fact about one of the least popular states in the union- the fact that it is not a state. John Rolczynski has discovered that the governor and…
Geithner Quits in Preparation for Jersey Shore
Under heavy pressure, mainly from the freshman Tea Party Representatives, Timothy Geithner admitted that while his August 2nd deadline for raising the debt ceiling was not arbitrary, it was hardly fiscally driven. Geithner acknowledged that after August 2nd, his full…
Insane Debt Levels suddenly Uncool
Just as no one knows the cause of earthquakes, sudden mass culture changes are a matter of great mystery to sociologists. History is rife with instances of these shifts. Communist Russia was seen as heroic, but then all of America…
GOP Claims Use of Categorical Denials Indicates Supreme Leadership Skills
The Daily Trough reports that Grand Old Party Speaker of the House John Boehner has categorically denied political and special interests in current GOP debt-ceiling strategies. A spokesperson on behalf of the party, who wishes to remain anonymous, has said,…
Bachmann Blasts Wikipedia; Google for Causing Slow Recovery
In a series of speeches the newly announced presidential candidate Michelle Bachmann blasted popular websites such as Google and Wikipedia for causing the slow economic recovery as pawns in President Obama’s grand plan for “turning our country into a nation…