Search Results for: obama
Netanyahu Declares Candidacy for U.S. President
GlossyNews.com – Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu today called a press conference to announce that he would accept the position of U.S. President, which he hoped would end the acrimony and divisiveness of the Romney-Obama rivalry for the office. Following…
Intense Negativity From Election Drama Create Huge Psychic Whirlwind In Atlantic
The generated heat created by battle between the two rivaling political parties vying for the U.S. Presidency has unleashed unforeseen consequences. The constant turbulence from partisan hatred, scandalous accusations, frictional debate and just plain pissedness has caused a massive psychic…
Republican Whose Home Destroyed by Hurricane Sandy Reluctantly Accepts Gov Handout
STAMFORD, CT – In the aftermath of one of the worst storms to batter the East Coast of the United States in recorded history, a Republican man whose lakeside house was left with almost $1.7-million-worth of damage at the hands…
‘He Who Shall Not Be Named’ Creates Stress For Romney Campaigners
There was great tension at the Republican Campaign Headquarters that morning as the worker bees entered their office in D.C. As with every campaign, unexpected situations come up. “’He Who Shall Not Be Named’” wants to endorse Romney.” stated Mitch…
Ageing Jimmy Carter Accidentally Endorses Mitt Romney for President
WASHINGTON D.C. – In a televised address before the press corps Saturday, ageing former Democratic president Jimmy Carter accidentally endorsed Mitt Romney for the presidency, insisting: “Romney is a progressive thinker and he’s gonna do a whole bunch of good…
Oh, the Rovanity
FORT LAUDERDALE–Tumult ensued following initial reports that the crash of a Mitt Romney blimp was instead determined to be the explosion of Karl Rove’s much talked about brain. The head of the conservative political analyst and FOX NEWS favorite spontaneously…
Romney: ‘As President, I Will Put a Man On Mars By 2014’
WASHINGTON D.C. – In an effort to bolster support for his campaign ahead of next month’s presidential election, Republican candidate Mitt Romney has vowed to put a man on the surface of Mars by the year 2014. Speaking at a…
GlossyNews Announces 2012 Presidential Endorsement… Not Who You Think
In 2008 we endorsed then-senator Barack Obama, but apparently it is best form to consult with our staff before reaching such a weighty decision. For 2012 I requested an endorsement statement from all 127 of our writers, and the endorsements…
Romney Surging in Latest Poll of Comatose Unregistered Voters
In recent polls, President Obama continues to lead with several key demographic categories: women, blacks, Hispanics, gays, people under 25, people over 25, people who can do basic math, people who can identify Canada on a map, and people who…
NHL Lockout Takes Center Stage at Debate
Undecided voter Mervin Dodson of Hempstead, New York was sadly disappointed by his participation in Tuesday night’s Presidential debate. “Of course I was thrilled to be selected as one of the dozens of undecided voters to participate in the debate,”…