Labor Day Cancelled
Due to America’s unusually high rate of unemployment, this is the first year since Labor Day became a federal holiday in 1894 that no workers will be taking the holiday off regardless of whether or not their employers are telling…
WikiLeaks Apologizes for Accidentally Releasing Everyone’s E-mail
LONDON – The anti-secrecy organization WikiLeaks today issued a public apology for what it termed a “programming error” that resulted in the accidental release of all deleted messages of the world’s e-mail users. “We sincerely regret this error,” WikiLeaks founder…
New Research Shows Bible is True; Scientists Give Up
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Glossy News Rumor Mill on the Fritz
Glossy News is usually the first to get all the news that is fit to print out there for everyone in a somewhat timely manner. However, due to mechanical failures which have occurred in the past couple of weeks, the…
California Bans Bacon
The California State Legislature has finally passed a bill banning all bacon and bacon-like products from the shelves of supermarkets and restaurants across the state in an effort to get Californians back on the healthy track. California is the first,…
Amateur Astronomer finds Hell in Space
It started out as a normal night for amateur astronomer Rick Saty last Wednesday evening. After setting up his 14-inch reflector telescope in his backyard and collimating it (a process in which the lenses are adjusted to bring them all…
A Candid Peek Into Sex Lives of the Candidates
The current contenders for the 2012 U.S. presidential election have already stated their positions on a range of key issues such as the economy, taxes, education, immigration, social policy, and national security. But one obvious question still remains. What are…
No New York Times on Sunday Bigger Disaster than Hurricane Irene
As Hurricane Irene barrels up the eastern seaboard toward New York, many wonder how New Yorkers will fare once hit by a category 1 hurricane, the likes of which they’ve not seen in years. Hurricane Irene is giving us an…
Discovery Of Male ‘Penis Brain’ Excites Researchers
Physiological scientists have made an amazing discovery in that man (and we mean specifically ‘man’ here, not ‘wo-man’) much like the dinosaurs of ancient times, possess a second brain located in an extremity of the body. Both man and dinosaurs…
Bachmann Claims Decisive 0.93% Victory in Straw Poll
AMES, IA —GlossyNews At $30 each, 16,892 Iowans were trucked to Ames for a day of politickin’ (locally it’s called ‘pot lickin’) and BBQ. A grand $506,760 was the total straw vote cash take for the GOPTea in Ames, Iowa…