Chapter 25: The Pristine Jade Hall Palace of Eternal Slumber (Honest Adolph, Volume III)

The Halls of Mandos, then. So this is me. Let’s knock this on down, brother, for the health of the world.

Saul paced the long, marble corridors.

Was he waiting for someone?

Big Xian?

A Golden knight on a nearby pillar sprang into life.

Read more Chapter 25: The Pristine Jade Hall Palace of Eternal Slumber (Honest Adolph, Volume III)

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London Cafe Manager Prosecuted for Serving Yolkless Eggs

London café manager Jim Fry 62, has been prosecuted for serving his customers the not so widely renowned metropolitan delicacy of yolkless eggs; beloved of elitist intellectuals, union barons, greed Tory yacht botherers and dodgy career politicos of all ideological and party persuasions. Read more London Cafe Manager Prosecuted for Serving Yolkless Eggs

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Putin Non-Traditional Musical Parody: I Want KGB! (With Apologies to Queen & Vlad)

Flamboyant 80s bear-wrestler Vladimir Putin once banned the rainbow clown ikon, as the latter is deemed by some web users to represent “the supposed nonstandard sexual orientation of the president of the Russian Federation.”

Still, we’re pretty sure Freddy would appreciate Putin’s stirring not-so-public rendering of an old, old classic! Read more Putin Non-Traditional Musical Parody: I Want KGB! (With Apologies to Queen & Vlad)

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Hey White People! These are Things Y’All Need To Do Better (Another Eva Luxemburg Wokepost, Part 2)

History

History? Y’all are so busy trying to work out the ‘facts,’ that you got no time to work out the truth. Priorities, white people! Funny how, when people search for facts, you always end up getting partisan bullshit; while when I search for the truth, I always get the truth? Ever wonder why? Well, ain’t postmodernism just awesome! Read more Hey White People! These are Things Y’All Need To Do Better (Another Eva Luxemburg Wokepost, Part 2)

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Hey White People! These are Things Y’All Need To Do Better (Another Eva Luxemburg Wokepost, Part 1)

Well hi there, people of white extraction! Have you had a good condescending, uninformed ‘splain to some poor schmuck on Medium right now?

Well, it’s about time y’all shut up, and started listening to me instead. Now, I know you have whitewashed our language here in Amuuuuuhrika, and you keep saying that we somehow ‘owe you’ these white discursive norms and white epistemological constructs like as objectivity, dispassion, evidence, logical rigor. Read more Hey White People! These are Things Y’All Need To Do Better (Another Eva Luxemburg Wokepost, Part 1)

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Trump Typos Due to Staff Killing Spell Check: “He Can’t Handle the Criticism!”

White House insiders have suggested that Trump’s many embarrassing typos are not the result of his stupidity or lack of access to technology, but because Maggie Jaakobson, an intern in her third week, was instructed to turn off the spell check feature on his phone because he couldn’t handle the criticsm.

“Miss Jaakobson is no longer working here,” explained world-renowned liar and future Mrs. Potatohead Sarah Huckabee-Sanders. “She’s been fired for her gross incompetence and reckless disregard for the American people.” Read more Trump Typos Due to Staff Killing Spell Check: “He Can’t Handle the Criticism!”

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Do Not Become What You Fear: Vote No / Save the 8th Must Not Surrender the Moral High Ground!


Let’s not forget: the need to keep the moral high ground is not the same as the fact of being morally superior.

We mustn’t respond to bad ideas or ideals with hatred or condemnation for the person.

We have to meet people where they are.

Every one of us stands imperfect. Read more Do Not Become What You Fear: Vote No / Save the 8th Must Not Surrender the Moral High Ground!

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Brainy Sacramento Solve Police Brutality Problem: African Americans Banned from Carrying Cell Phones!


Most of you will have seen the recent scandal where the police shot an unarmed black man multiple times in the back while he was standing in his own grandmother’s back yard, holding a cell phone that officers mistook for a gun. Read more Brainy Sacramento Solve Police Brutality Problem: African Americans Banned from Carrying Cell Phones!

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New Study Finds That Punching Walls Hurts Your Hand


A new study by the Center for National Studies has found that people who punch walls are likely to hurt their hands.

This breakthrough research took the scientific community by surprise as it was previously believed that punching a hard, immovable object would have no impact at all on one’s health. Read more New Study Finds That Punching Walls Hurts Your Hand

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Alleged Faked Photographs Challenge Credibility Of Wildlife Photographer Of The Year Awards


London’s Natural History Museum has been forced to rethink the entry requirements for its Wildlife Photographer of the Year awards.

Once again, a prizewinning entry has been subsequently disqualified. That image, entered in the 2017 competition and called The Night Raider, depicts an anteater near a termite mound in Brazil. Read more Alleged Faked Photographs Challenge Credibility Of Wildlife Photographer Of The Year Awards

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Northern Bible II: The Wackiest Ancient Israel Headlines from the Pre-Zionist Media!


Judas Finally Sells out to Rupert Murdoch, Becomes Useful Idiot

Josiah Mulls Including Torah Trigger Warnings for Gory Content: Court Conservatives Plot to Overthrow Radical ‘Snowflake Princelings’

King Solomon Regresses to Radical Pomo Nihilism: Theological Diversity is Our Greatest Strength!

OMG! Irresponsible Jerusalem King/Twitter Troll has Trigger Finger on Middle East’s Largest Arrow Silo Read more Northern Bible II: The Wackiest Ancient Israel Headlines from the Pre-Zionist Media!

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Big Smoke Blow-Up! Randy Londoners Go Insane Over Harrod’s Shop Window Beauty!

London car mechanic Brian Love was so smitten over a lady he spotted standing in a Harrods shop window, he lost his mind.

The warm, chubby, hearty 53 year old greaser Love told Glossy News: Read more Big Smoke Blow-Up! Randy Londoners Go Insane Over Harrod’s Shop Window Beauty!

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WHAT?! Putin Accuses UK Gov Of Satirical, Russian Double Agent Murder In Moscow


The Kremlin has angrily accused the British Government of assassinating an ex-MI6 double agent, resident in Moscow.

Alexei Smithski was crushed to death last week when a large, trapezoidal, cast iron weight, labelled ‘10 Tons’ fell on his head. Moscow has strongly asserted that the manner of the death conclusively implicates the British Government. Read more WHAT?! Putin Accuses UK Gov Of Satirical, Russian Double Agent Murder In Moscow

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If you Don’t Laugh, You’ll Cry! Chase the Demons Away with these Great Books from Our AMAZING Satire Team!

Glossy News has plenty of great satirists!

And many of them have written books; hence the handy guide below. (Keep reading!)

The following is not, of course, an exhaustive list of the books by our various funny people.

However, we will indeed do a few more of these articles occasionally! Read more If you Don’t Laugh, You’ll Cry! Chase the Demons Away with these Great Books from Our AMAZING Satire Team!

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