Obama: “ISIS Must Train Our Kids to Use Guns Responsibly”
President Obama is concerned at the harsh stigma attached to militants of the Islamic State. So he has some wise words for the more narrow-minded citizens, who take a merely partisan approach towards the Islamic State… Now let me say…
Greek Son Attempts to Break Family’s Curse
Las Vegas, NV—Christopher Nicholas Kratsas is not your typical Greek American. He comes from a long line of family members that desperately tried to embrace America by reversing Greek stereotypes. Unfortunately for the Kratsas family, this task was made more…
Finally, A New Protest on Red Square… Sort of…
The news came across the wires of a huge protest in Moscow, right on Red Square. Really??!!!! Are the Russian masses finally rallying up against the ex-KGB man who has reinvented Czarism in a modern form? Is the second great…
NAACP officially changes name
Baltimore, MD. — In an unexpected, yet timely move, the group formerly known as the NAACP have changed their name to the National Association for the Advancement of African-Americans or NAAAA. The first meeting of the new group, held yesterday,…
Lifeguard Sets Unprecedented Record
Boise, ID—Lifeguard Brian McKearney broke a YMCA lifeguarding record today. “I’m on top of the world,” he said while being carried away to the employee’s lounge on the shoulders of his fellow aquatic guardians. McKearney could be heard yelling over…
Fappers Rejoice as Aussie Developer Shuts Down Proposed Data Retention Plan
Melbourne born software Developer Mike Pearce has thwarted government plans to impose mandatory data retention for all Australian citizens by fundamentally changing the way the internet works. Australian PM, Tony Abbott is currently being accused of bullying the opposition and…
GlossyNews Scores Exclusive Interview w/ Vlad the Impaler Putin, Czar of Russia
Glossy News has been fortunate enough to be granted an interview with Vladimir Putin, the leader of Russia, a man very much in the news these days. It is not often that the Premier grants anyone from the West an…
GOP/Dems: Post-Orwellian Dictionary of Humanitarian Imperialism (2/2)
Here we go again… and again… and AGAIN™… NaHum-ism National Humanitarianism, or NaHum-ism, is what happens when the petty, cruel, vicious, tearful, artificial boundaries that wantonly and cruelly constrain the human spirit are broken down and annihilated with an iron…
GOP/Dems: Post-Orwellian Dictionary of Humanitarian Imperialism (1/2)
Over here in Euroweenie land, they say about the Hitler-Stalin pact: “Les extrêmes se touchent.” …Or in Universal Anglo-Esperanto, to wit, the King James of Jesus, Rush Limbaugh, John Kerry and other notable figures (-ish): “Opposites meet.” So it’s only…
Tory Candidates: As-Yet-Entirely-Unspeculated Cameron Coup (2/2)
I’m going to list for you all the Tory politicians I admire and respect and who I think fully deserve to be UK PM… … … …