NAACP officially changes name

Baltimore, MD. — In an unexpected, yet timely move, the group formerly known as the NAACP have changed their name to the National Association for the Advancement of African-Americans or NAAAA.

The first meeting of the new group, held yesterday, commenced with the new tradition of “Hail NAAAA.”

When reporters tried to reach out to the Obama administration to discuss this historic day, the president was only half interested. Read more NAACP officially changes name

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Zombie Apocalypse lasts for 3 minutes

Washington, D.C.- Following an alarming number of calls to the CDC, FBI, and NSA, security analyst have concluded that the zombie apocalypse came and went without any causalities and $0 in property damage.

Current Secretary of Defense, Chuck Hagel, spoke on the matter, “Around 5:03 a.m. eastern standard time, a zombie uprising started near Deer Lick, Kentucky. The uprising promptly ended 3 minutes later, apparently due to the fact that zombies lack muscle tissue.”
Read more Zombie Apocalypse lasts for 3 minutes

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