Posted in Politics Top Stories

Edward Snowden Warns: National Security Agency (NSA) Is Watching You Masturbate

Government whistleblower Edward Snowden warned US citizens today that the NSA has confiscated the cameras of all computers and they are surreptitiously watching all Americans masturbate. “Even when you don’t think you’re online or even when your computer is turned…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Edward Snowden Warns: National Security Agency (NSA) Is Watching You Masturbate
Posted in Politics War Zone

Edward Snowden’s Girlfriend Lindsay Mills Just An “Average” Poll Dancer

Many supporters of government whistleblower Edward Snowden claim that his girlfriend Lindsay Mills is just an “average” pole dancer with no special attributes. “I’ve seen Lindsay dance and she ain’t nothing special”, said New York bartender Sal Jennings, 37. “She…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Edward Snowden’s Girlfriend Lindsay Mills Just An “Average” Poll Dancer
Posted in War Zone

CIA Caught Spying on Afghan Rug – Part I of I

As related to Glossy News by a well informed cabbie in New York City. Former CIA operative turned whistleblower, Frank Turner, shocked the nation this past Friday recounting his recent hardships in front of a live television audience. Turner, who…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! CIA Caught Spying on Afghan Rug – Part I of I
Posted in Religionism

Big Brother Targets Kindergarten Radicals

The UK’s Big Brother think tanks at Chatham House and the Tavistock Institute have now – in their superior wisdom – ordained nursery-age children should be monitored for signs of Pavlovian brainwashing by Islamist extremists – according to a leaked…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Big Brother Targets Kindergarten Radicals
Posted in Politics

Risk Assessment for Wiping One’s Own Bum

To comply with fresh slapstick Big Brother legislation being issued by the E-USSR’s bored bureaucrats in bonkers Brussels, family homes across Britain could be invaded by HSE inspectors checking that parents are keeping their children safe. Whitehall’s Ministry for Wasting…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Risk Assessment for Wiping One’s Own Bum
Posted in Health Human Interest

BDSM Blamed on PCB’s

One medical report just leaked to the Transgender Gazette by government whistleblowers indicates something really does stink in Denmark – and it’s definitely not Hamlet’s socks. The Copenhagen government yesterday admitted that leaked official research proved pregnant mothers, new-born babies…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! BDSM Blamed on PCB’s
Posted in War Zone

Weapons Inspector: Suicide Profession or Good Fun?

Police are investigating a possible crime scene after a British atomic energy and weapons specialist involved in negotiations with Iran over its nuclear programme fell 40 metres to his death inside the UN’s headquarters building in Vienna. Officials announced this…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Weapons Inspector: Suicide Profession or Good Fun?
Posted in Politics Top Stories War Zone

CIA Funding Tech, Linguistics, Some Iranian Terrorist Groups

The United States military hawks have thrown their hands up and cried “Time Out!” as they hotly deny accusations of having played a role in a deadly terrorist suicide bombing in southeast Iran. “We condemn this act of terrorism and…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! CIA Funding Tech, Linguistics, Some Iranian Terrorist Groups
Posted in Human Interest Society

UK Freedom of Speech Suspended

A leading UK gutter press tabloid, the Daily Shitraker, has been barred from reporting parliamentary proceedings on legal grounds which appear to call into question privileges guaranteeing free speech established under the centuries-old 1688 Bill of Rights. Yesterday’s House of…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! UK Freedom of Speech Suspended
Posted in Crime

Dodgy Deviant Gets Ceo Position, As Expected

The New Labour government’s childcare watchdog Ofsted has been heavily criticised by every bugger and their dog after appointing a dodgy deviant official – once embroiled in a notorious paedophile scandal – to a senior post in the organisation. The…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Dodgy Deviant Gets Ceo Position, As Expected