Dodgy Deviant Gets Ceo Position, As Expected

The New Labour government’s childcare watchdog Ofsted has been heavily criticised by every bugger and their dog after appointing a dodgy deviant official – once embroiled in a notorious paedophile scandal – to a senior post in the organisation.

The Office for Standards in Education, Children’s Services and Skills has named Willie McScum as its Social Care chief – a job which gives him effective control of the protection of male and female minors in care homes and nurseries across the length and breadth of the entire UK.

However through the 1980’s until 1994 McScum was the most senior figure in the children’s department at Scallydale-on-Sea Council in Smegmashire.

The council was savaged in 1992 by a series of official reports after whistleblowers belonging to the borough’s Snitch and Grassers Union revealed how a child sex ring had been operating with impunity throughout the Scallydale care homes system since the time of Queen Victoria.

An independent inquiry headed by Sir Basil Thort-Nott – then Director of Social Services in Smegmashire – found that the council was in a ‘deplorable state’ and opined to the Daily Shitraker at the time that he’d seen better organised riots.

Thort-Nott’s report made specific mention that the care homes were run like ‘kiddie brothels’ for local authority bigwigs to go and select the catamite of their choice after their Masonic Lodge or golf course rendezvous.

All held senior ranks in the community – from prominent businessmen and doctors to council, police force, judiciary and church officials – including the Mother Superior and senior Sisters from the borough’s Saint Sappho of the Sacred Dildo Convent.

“Line managers, social workers and inspectors were wholly deficient in their duties and should have visited children’s homes and taken necessary actions as their training demanded.”

“They should have spoken to these children and definitely responded positively to allegations as serious as the ones made concerning chronic haemorrhoids in nine-year old boys and girls – and cases of prolapsed colons and ruptured sphincters.”

“The borough’s care homes had become a disgusting bumboy’s paradise for the community perverts and the people in charge kept schtum about it.”

“To now claim they were informed all was okay and not to make waves – or else they might get fired – is less than satisfactory and does seem to indicate they may well have been personally involved in this pederast’s circus of horrors.

In 1992 Scallydale-on-Sea Council was asked by police investigating the child abuse allegations for paperwork relating to Ronnie Sodomberg who helped run one of the homes. He was later exposed as a key organiser of the paedo’ sex ring.

Despite the existence of a number of documents raising concerns about him – in particular his unhealthy relationship with a local farmer’s flock of sheep – and co-habiting with a pygmy goat – Sodomberg’s personnel file and psychiatric reports had mysteriously fallen into Mr McScum’s office shredder by accident.

At the same time four council staff members – who belonged to the Snitch and Grassers Union and had originally raised concerns about Mr Sodomberg and other suspected paedophiles working in Scallydale-on-Sea care homes – met with tragic deaths after being unfortunately run over by the Chief Constable’s Bentley saloon as they left a cheese and wine party at Mr McScum’s home on Bushwacker’s Lane the night before they were due to give sworn evidence to a High Court judge.

Ronnie Sodomberg was found dead in his cell while on remand. He had been arrested by an RSPCA Swat Squad on charges of molesting underage alpacas at a kiddies petting zoo and having over two thousand indecent photographs on his seized laptop pc of himself and friends having sex with a variety of domestic pets – including Koi carp.

The Scallydale coroner presiding over the inquest took note of the cause of death being an excess of twenty stabwounds to the back and commented that it was the most determined case of suicide he had ever encountered.

In an act of self-preservation Mr McScum had convenienty vacated his post by the middle of 1994 and spent the next 15 years in charge of services for the criminally insane at Smegmashire’s lunatic asylum .

On the announcement of his recent appointment McScum told a reporter from the Kiddie Fiddlers Gazette : ‘Whatever ‘appened around the Scallydale care ‘omes was effin’ years ago and ‘ad eff’ all to do wiv me – so piss off or I’ll set the dogs on yer.’

Mrs. Fellattia McScum, the official Ofsted spokeswoman (no realtion) informed the Daily Shitraker : “Mr Willie McScum has a long and distinguished track record in delivering care services, most recently leading Smegmashire’s Happy Hatters’ looney bin to an outstanding rating for its adult services for two weeks in a row.”

‘There is nothing to question our Willie’s integrity or his ability to fully and professionally carry out his role at Ofsted – a role he was appointed to following a fully independent and robust recruitment process and nothing whatsoever to do with him being my brother.”

“We here at Ofsted have ‘full confidence’ in Willie’s performance in this vital new role as Director of Social Care Development.’

Do you and your family share Ofsted’s ‘full confidence’ in their nepotistic choice? Would you trust Willie McScum to be in charge of child care? Would you trust him to babysit your kids? Would you even trust him to take your dog for a walk?

Send us your comments using the online form below and you too might get a bird eye view of the underside of the Chief Constable’s Bentley.

Author: Rusty

Rusty's Skewed News Views are spoof publications, fired by the ironies of human nature and tempered with elements of satire and parody, and should not, therefore, be taken too seriously. These are inspired by traveling around the Earth more times than Skylab and composed while observing the inherent idiocies of Mankind. Thus lawyers be duly advised : All libel writs issued on behalf of offended humourless ego's and / or those blighted by unqualified arrogance herein lampooned may be addressed to : Rusty the Boddington's Badger, Igloo 27, Pasquinade Gardens, Penguin Parade, Ross Ice Shelf, Antarctica - or via

2 thoughts on “Dodgy Deviant Gets Ceo Position, As Expected

  1. All true – he was responsible for the whitewashes / coverups and missing files at Islington’s child care HQ in London for 15 years then resigned when the shit hit the fan.
    Connecting link url to actual news story pasted below.
    His new post as social care chief is no exaggeration – he is now efectively in charge of all kiddie care (sic) across de UK.

  2. Nice photoshop. If that isn’t creepy I don’t know what is.

    How true is this? Does thte guy have real convictions in the works, and was he really getting this job? How much fantasy here?

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