Category: World News
German Truffles Snuff Out Syrian Conflict
Assad’s chocolate-covered Eurotrip ends in his capture The Syrian conflict ended yesterday after the president of Syria, Bashar al-Assad, and his wife, Amir al-Assad, were captured last week in the small German town of Steinheim.
Julian Assange “Shocked” to Discover Himself Leaking His Own Escape Plan
The freedom fighter Julian Assange has hit out at himself for leaking his own escape route from the Ecuadorian embassy. He said he had no idea how the plans came came to be posted on the internet, although he admitted…
Things Kim Jong-Un Said on His Wedding Night
Kim Jong-Un was recently retro-actively married, and to a fine philly of a lady at that, assuming she’s not blood-related to him, which is a fairly big assumption indeed. The head of one of the most secretive states in the…
UK Says Battering Ram Unlikely In Assange Case
UK officials insist they are not considering a battering ram against the front door of the Ecuador Embassy in London, where Julian Assange’s asylum has recently been extended to the country of Ecuador itself. It’s important, UK officials say, to…
South Sudan Applies for Name Change
JUBA – The UN has officially confirmed that it has received a name change request from the freshly governing government of the Republic of South Sudan. South Sudanese President Salva Kiir Mayardit has long expressed regret over what he views…
List of Reforms North Korea is Bringing to Bear
Since the death of Kim Jong-Il, North Korea has seen a litany of changes. The most visible of which is the introduction of chubby funster Kim Jong-Un as his successor, with a close second being the ouster of a top…
Kim Jong-Un Loses Stubby Arms Race
North Korea’s new supreme leader, Kim Jong-Un, has come under fire from his generals for possessing what some would call, “stubby, chubby child-sized arms,” a claim vehemently denied by state media. “His arms are not stubby!” said state reporter Steel…
Greek Economic Collapse Could Have Knock-On Effect for Other Not-America Countries
ATHENS, GREECE – As votes continue to be counted in the Greek general election, worries continue to mount that the fallout from the country’s potential economic collapse could have a knock-on effect for many other not-America countries. Should Greece fail…
Steroid Use Gets Satirist Banned from Covering 2012 Olympics
Johnny B. Rotten, a writer who makes his living making fun of the people who make the world an interesting place to live, has officially been banned from covering the 2012 Olympic Games in London. Rotten is accused of illegal…
Syrian President’s Approval Rating Plummets to Record Low 112%
DAMASCUS – As bloodshed continues to spread across Damascus and outlying regions of Syria, the country’s embattled President Bashar al-Assad has seen his approval rating plummet to a record low of 112% – with thousands more protesters taking to the…