Syrian President’s Approval Rating Plummets to Record Low 112%

DAMASCUS – As bloodshed continues to spread across Damascus and outlying regions of Syria, the country’s embattled President Bashar al-Assad has seen his approval rating plummet to a record low of 112% – with thousands more protesters taking to the streets to demonstrate against his regime.

The figures come as a heavy blow to President al-Assad, who enjoyed the support of more than 240% of the Syrian electorate – including thousands of deceased voters – at the end of 2010, before political unrest broke out early last year.

RIGHT: “I am not concerned [a]bout arbitrary polls and frivolous approval ratings” – al-Assad.

“We do not condone the actions of our government,” said protester Baltasar Mahmoud, as government security forces continued to clamp down on hundreds of protesters. “We want al-Assad to resign immediately and to stand trial for the atrocities he has unleashed on his people.”

According to the figures, announced by Syrian state news Sunday, al-Assad is only popular with just over all of the people of Syria – a relative disaster for a leader who includes votes from inanimate objects, foreign nationals and farmyard animals.

Despite coming under growing pressure, however, al-Assad insists that the figures won’t distract him from the job of leading the country.

“I am not concerned bout arbitrary polls and frivolous approval ratings,” he said. “If people have disagreements with my government, we just… well we just shoot them.”

Author: Laurence Brown

Laurence Brown is an award-winning comedic journalist based in Indianapolis, Indiana, who has edited several satirical news papers since 1999. Hailing from the United Kingdom, he has also written plays and short stories. He has a bachelor's degree in English and Creative Writing from Lancaster University. This article was originally published by The Indy Tribune.

2 thoughts on “Syrian President’s Approval Rating Plummets to Record Low 112%

  1. I agree with the gut check technique in 99% of the cases, but the other 52% of the time, you’d better use numbers.

  2. I personally don’t put any faith in numbers… any of them. They’re just too cold, too black and white, too intellectual. Can’t trust anything that doesn’t waver based on its gut.

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