Category: World News
New Study Shows the Mexican Cartel to Be “Bunch of Homos(exuals)”
A new study done by the Political Association of Immigration Soldiers and American Students reveals the Mexican Cartel, the same people that love to molest its house rats (no, not their children), to be having mass intercourse with one another.
Brazil’s Economy Skyrockets in Soccer Tournament; Millions of Wallets Stolen
The 2014 FIFA World Cup event will be a beneficial factor that will help Brazil with its not-so-good economy, at least that’s what Hispanic skinhead, Pitbull, had to say about it. Hispanic, cancer man later went on to gibber on…
Congress Declares Global War on ‘The Heebie-Jeebies’
WASHINGTON—On Monday, Congress unanimously approved the Authorization for Use of Force against Unpleasant Lifeforms (AUFUL) joint resolution, effectively declaring war on what the Obama administration calls “the heebie-jeebies.” After signing the resolution into law, the president will have full authorization…
Anderson Cooper Vows to Snorkel Indian Ocean to Find MH370, Boost Ratings
Atlanta – CNN, in their never ending coverage of the missing Malaysian plane tragedy, thinks they have figured out a way to keep the story interesting, boost ratings, and possibly videotape the disappearance of one of their most beloved personalities….
Shock Saudi Royal Wedding ‘She’s Definitely In My Top 5’ Says Prince
Crown Prince Abdul Rahman Al-Saud of Saudi Arabia whose family have not only ruled the desert kingdom for over 80 years but also give the country the first part of its name, is to marry an American Jewish pork butcher…
Kim Jong-un Diagnosed w/ Breast Cancer; Citizens Forced to Cry or be Shot
It was early spring of 2014 when the savior of North Korea, Kim Jong-un, was enjoying his three course meal in complete tranquility, an annual source of food considered by his people. To everyone’s surprise, later that day, it was…
Pistorius’ Defence ‘A Shot in the Dark’
A leaked document has been revealed to the press outlining Oscar Pistorius’ proposed defence arguments in his ongoing murder trial. The legal brief describes the three main planks to his defence designed to undermine the prosecutors case.Firstly he is to…
Malaysian Flight MH370 Survivors ‘Confirmed’
Kimi Ono, head of the MH370 survivors group, held a press conference today, to deny claims from the Malaysian investigation authorities that all those aboard the doomed plane were ‘obviously now dead’. Mrs Ono began ‘I know my husband is…
Malaysian Airliner Wins Gold in 2014’s Hide and Seek Olympic Tournament
Malaysian Airliner MH370 staff and passengers were officially declared 2014’s Hide and Seek gold champions by the International Olympics Committee this week leaving millions pissed that the team did not attempt to break the world record set by Osama Bin…
International MH370 Search Efforts To Be Unified Under “Operation Wild Goose”
Responding to criticism that search efforts for the ill fated Flight 370 have been unfocused, haphazard and confusing, United Nations Secretary-General Ban-ki-moon announced today that all future efforts will be directed by one authority under the title “Operation Wild Goose”.