Category: Politics
Obama Promises Drone Strikes are Not “Lip-Synced”
WASHINGTON D.C.–Following the controversial lip-syncing performance by singing sensation Beyonce Knowles at the inauguration a couple weeks ago, a pall of skepticism has hung over much of the administration’s policies and decisions, both current and past. One seldom discussed but…
Helen Dragas Voted UVA’s “Most Admired”
As Thomas Jefferson looks down from his cloudy suite in heaven, he must be exceedingly proud of UVA for its latest attempt at breaking the status quo in popular trends. According to a poll released Sunday morning, Board of Visitors…
Pol. Candidate Shocks Press with Actual Answer
America’s politics have just become more divisive after a candidate’s response to a question at his election press conference. Mike Uno, 43, who is running for the Republican nomination in Virginia’s gubernatorial election this year, is at the center of…
American Revolution Staged to Pass Second Amendment
Recently discovered communication between key Founding Fathers and the kings of both England and France has brought into question what has always been considered historical fact: specifically, America’s War of Independence from Great Britain. This new evidence is pointing historians…
The Amending Of The Amendments- We Take A Trip Back To 1789
Welcome dear readers as we take a trip through time back to when our forefathers were writing that fateful and world famous bit of legislation so beloved and contested over in our time, the Amendments to the Constitution of the…
Marcus Bachmann Furiously Gerrymandering Hetero Lines
Conservative icon and shockingly good dancer Marcus Bachmann is in the news again, following allegations that he had inappropriate contact with one of his “patients” at his “pray the gay away” clinic. “Well we all know what’s straight and what…
Obama Resigns… Almost
In a surprise announcement, Barack Obama has decided to step down. Foregoing the balance of his second term, the President will pass on the executive reins of government to his vice president, Joe Biden. Obama revealed his decision during his…
SNL Caught ‘Rounding Second’ with Obama–World Shocked
The signs, though subtle and unseen by many, were always there. The episode before last of the much loved, sketch comedy TV show only underscored the true reality of their relationship. After Seth Meyers, the Weekend Update news anchor, more…
Florida Governor Rick Scott Battling Leukemia
Following months of speculation, the governor’s office has this morning confirmed what red-blooded, God-fearing Americans have long suspected. He’s a sick and dying man. “I’ve always fought hard against the ills that plague us, but I’m more comfortable when it’s…
NRA Members Suffering From Selective Hearing Disorder – I SAID, “NRA MEMBERS SUFFERING FROM HEARING DISORDER”
Scientists have begun a study of NRA members who seem to have a vacillating hearing problem in which most of their die hard publicum hear certain things in clarity and then on others are fuzzy. “It is a really strange…