Category: Politics
Sweating Romney Can’t Stop Asking Advisers How He Did Out There
DENVER, CO – Following Wednesday’s opening presidential debate at the University of Denver, a sweating Mitt Romney would not stop asking advisers how he did. Nervously loosening his tie, the former Massachusetts governor stormed into campaign manager Matt Rhoades’ temporary…
Democrats Concede 2012 Election
In an unprecedented move, President Obama and all democratic candidates have conceded the election to their respective opponents. Democratic Party Chairman Debbie Wasserman Schultz announced the collective concession this morning. Initially believed to be an elaborate early Halloween prank, it…
Big Bird Talks Mitt Romney in Hard Hitting Interview
He’s every kid’s favorite bird. Big Bird has been a staple on American television since 1969. So it was no surprise that many Americans became upset when Mitt Romney made public his plan to fire the icon. We met at…
Top-11 Reasons Barack Obama Will Win the Election
As the election season winds down, the one thing that is clear is that the pseudo muslim usurper, Barack Hussein Obama, is going to walk away with this election handily. But many looking at this election from the outside don’t…
What I Did During the First Debate (Spoiler: I didn’t watch it)
8:01: Made myself a Boulevardier, which I highly recommend. 8:07: Opened up my three-year-in-progress novel, of which I have completed one chapter to date. Wrote seven additional words that I erased and rewrote four times. Net gain – four words….
The Only 14 Zingers at the 2012 Presidential Debate
Respective political rhetoric aside, there were only a few bright (or even interesting) moments in the presidential debate. Following are the only 14 things even close to a “zinger” uttered by Obama, Romney or Jim Lehrer. 1) Romney: “Happy Anniversary,…
Top-12 Reasons Mitt Romney Will Win the Election
With the election heating up and the polls wiggling more and more every day (in favor of Barack Obama), we have to look ever more closely at the race. The good news is that, at least according to a couple…
Romney Schedules Debate to Convince Country He is Still Running
WASHINGTON D.C.- Political insiders have confirmed that not only is republican candidate, Mitt Romney, debating president Obama on Wednesday, but he is still running for president. Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan met a group of supporters for a fund raiser,…
Eleven Things Todd Akin (R)ape Actually Believes
With all the unfair and fairly crazy stuff Todd Akin (R-Missouri) has said lately, it may be hard to keep a fair track of him, and what he believes. Here is a handy guide to what Todd Akin actually believes….
President Romney’s Inaugural Address
“I think my biggest concern obviously would just be for his mental well-being.” – Ann Romney on her concerns about her husband becoming President of the U.S. My fellow Americans. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Hee, hee, hee, ha, ha,…