Category: Top Stories
President Obama Detained at Phoenix Airport
Phoenix, AZ (GlossyNews) -– President Barack Obama was detained for a brief period yesterday at the Phoenix, AZ Airport by TSA officials while police determined whether or not to arrest him for not having proper identification with him at the…
Former Hollister Co. Executive Shot Dead by Arizona Police
NOGALES, AZ (GlossyNews) — The Southern California headquarters of Abercrombie & Fitch, which owns the Hollister brand, issued a statement today confirming the death of a controversial former executive. Hugh Humbert-Lardwick, a regional vice president from the United Kingdom, made…
Goldman Sachs Can’t Eliminate Mysterious Odor of Dirty Rats
New York, NY (GlossyNews) –The area around the offices of Goldman Sachs in New York City and New Jersey are void of pedestrian and vehicular traffic because of an overwhelming stench resembling the smell of dirty rats emanating from every…
Democrats Turn to Religion to Pray for Palin’s Demise
San Francisco, CA (GlossyNews) — “I never thought I would pray for somebody to flat-out die,“ said liberal turned Christian, Marty Hayes. “But I’ve been praying hard for this one. I can’t stand to hear Palin’s voice, it sounds like…
Gough Whitlam — The Australian Obama?
Sydney, NSW, Australia (GlossyNews) — President Obama would do well to try to emulate the successes that former Australian Prime Minister Gough Whitlam had in his first 100 days of office back in 1972. He ended the draft and removed…
Passengers To Clean Airline Cabins, Toilets
Chicago, IL (GlossyNews) — Complex merger talks now underway between United Airlines, Continental Airlines and US Airways include a landmark cost-cutting measure that will require passengers to clean the aircraft cabin and lavatories before leaving the plane. “These discussions are…
Phoenix Woman Totally Responsible for Mortgage Meltdown
Washington DC (GlossyNews) — After a week of hearings with representatives, CEO’s and Government officials at the helm when the world economy was brought to the brink by sneaky and deceptive criminal activity, Congress has ruled that the responsibility for…
Huckabee Apologizes to Zombies
Fort Smith, Ark-Kansas (GlossyNews) — Following a storm of controversy, former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee today released a press statement seeking to clarify his recent Zombie remarks, in what was seen by many as electoral politics damage control. “In a…
Detroit to be Bulldozed and Replaced with World’s Largest Mall
Detroit, MI (GlossyNews) -– In what was hailed as an extreme but necessary move by the Mayor of Detroit, work has begun in planning the total destruction and re-building of Detroit, this time as a shopping mall, not a city….
Huckabee Compares Werewolves to Zombies
Fort Smith, Ark-Kansas (GlossyNews) — Former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee hasn’t announced his plans for 2012, but the FOX News commenter has lately been stressing his cultural values credentials. Speaking this week to UC Berkeley’s College Republican Union, Huckabee hit…