Category: Top Stories
Gov Sanford to Leave GOP; No Longer a ‘Conservative’
Columbia, SC (GlossyNews) — Conservatives, led by newly divorced adulterer, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford (exR), whose marriage ended earlier this year after lying about his whereabouts and cheating on his wife, have lost their patience with the news media…
Crossing Guard with OCD Run Down by Impatient Businessman
Nolanville, VA-Every weekday morning at 3 a.m., 45-year old George Ross puts on his pants for the third time, combs every strand of hair separately and plucks any wayward nose hairs. He measures one teaspoon of sugar into his carefully…
Obama Fails to Appoint Deist to Supreme Court
Washington DC (GlossyNews) — President Obama, refusing to yield to the demands of Tea Party agitators, has once again failed to appoint a Deist to the Supreme Court. Obama has announced that he will nominate Elena Kagan to the court,…
When Free Cheese Isn’t Socialism
By the fireplace — I have a friend who is an unusual case in point for our present national attitudes. Let us call him ‘Sam’. If I used his real name, and he found out, he would be hurt and…
Stephen Hawking’s Basement Raided, Rare Historic Artifacts Found
Cambridge, England – Acting on an anonymous tip, British police raided well-known physicist, Stephen Hawking’s basement, where it is reported that they found some incredible historical artifacts from various periods in history. Included with the artifacts was an urn which…
In New Book, Laura Bush Can’t Acknowledge Horrible Accident Known as W
In a perfect example of how psychotic the Bush Clan remains, Laura Bush has once again milked the tragedy of a teenager she killed in a car accident in Midland, Texas 50 years ago, the car wreck law firms phiadelphia…
New Video from Al Qaeda Claims Idiot Bomber Not Theirs
Somewhere in Cave – A new video has been released by Al Jazeera that they claim has come directly from Osama bin Ladin in which bin Ladin emphatically states that in no way was the recent attempted NY bombing the…
Chavez and Castro Now Facebook Friends
Bogota North, Colombia (GlossyNews) — Posted from a secure, undisclosed location by Glossy News South American correspondent in hiding. Sources close to Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez revealed a major diplomatic coup today; Fidel Castro has accepted Chavez’ friend request on…
Recall Vehicles Fun to Drive, Say Toyota Ads
Toyota USA – Irvine, CA (GlossyNews) — In response to ever-expanding recalls, carmaker Toyota will revamp its marketing and advertising programs to emphasize the “fun and excitement” of sudden acceleration, SUV rollovers and other unique attributes its vehicles have become…
Palin Hopes to Woo Brown with Speech to Naturist-Christians Group
San Bernardino, CA – When Sarah Palin was approached back in September of last year to speak at a gathering of Christian nudists who were interested in opening a nudist chapter of the Tea Party Movement, she respectfully declined, not…