Bogota North, Colombia (GlossyNews) — Posted from a secure, undisclosed location by Glossy News South American correspondent in hiding.
Sources close to Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez revealed a major diplomatic coup today; Fidel Castro has accepted Chavez’ friend request on Facebook. The ancient Cuban dictator, while not esteemed in the US, is widely respected throughout Latin America. The Castro seal of approval carries much weight among indigenous minorities who’ve long been oppressed by a succession of autocratic regimes.
Chavez insiders were careful not to overplay the significance of the Fidel/Hugo Facebook relationship. “They both like Farmville a lot, and Fidel is helping Hugo build a barn, and turns out they’re both just nuts for World of Warcraft too. It’s a day-to day thing; we’ll have to see how it develops,” said a man with a mustache and ridiculously ostentatious military uniform.
—-I wouldn’t friend either of them. Not because they’re Communists. They’re just icky, old and ugly. Che, I would friend him. He was hot! —-
Now Maria, we’ve talked about this, right? No using the PC when Daddy is working. I go to the bathroom and all of a sudden you’re Walter Freaking Cronkite.
US State Department sources admit some private worries about the Fidel/Hugo Facebook alliance. Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton’s pedicurist told Glossy News that unfolding events are being closely monitored, and appropriate responses are being formulated. Soon Yong said, “She’s got terrible toenail fungus. She should soak feet in gasoline or something. Hillary isn’t worried much about Cuba/Venezuela Facebook thing. If they friend Ahmadinejhad though, all bets are off. Probably bomb Iran, and Strait of Hormuz gets mined. It’s all up in the air really, just like Hillary’s nasty feet when I do pedicure. Good tipper though.”
At this writing, it remains unclear what the intentions or scope of this anti-American Facebook cabal may be. It’s rumored by a Caracas bartender that Chavez is in negotiations to befriend a laid-off autoworker in Dearborn, Michigan soon.