Category: Top Stories
Bi-Partisan Summit Ends Aprubtly After Attendees Unable to Agree Who Gets to be the Car in Monopoly
Monopoly strikes again. No, not the kind that FDR broke-up in the 1930s. This is the kind that tears families apart and tests the boundaries of the relationships of the participants involved. This is a game that often ends in…
Tea Party Advocates Destruction of All of America (Except its Golf Courses)
Dateline: WASHINGTON—Senator and reputed Tea Party leader Ted Cruz introduced a resolution to the Senate yesterday, calling for the immolation of all of the United States apart from its golf courses. Speaking in favour of the motion on the congressional…
New NSA Allegations Surround Facebook Number Game
You may have noticed a recent Facebook game on your newsfeed lately where friends assign each other numbers to reveal not so random facts about each other. It may have seemed harmless enough admitting that your favorite food is chocolate…
Talking Points Should be Delivered to Empty Rooms, Politicians and Journalists Agree
Dateline: WASHINGTON—At an unprecedented conference yesterday on relations between journalism and democratic government, Washington correspondents together with congressional leaders and the President reached an understanding about their public communications: from now on, the politician will deliver his or her talking…
Woman Chops Off Finger to Avoid Workplace Safety Rally
SAN FRANCISCO, California – A cafeteria employee cut off one of her own fingers with a butcher’s knife in an “act of desperation” after a co-worker reminded her that 99 days had elapsed since someone had been injured in a…
The Consumer Credit Freeze is Real
I had perfect credit 20 years ago. I leveraged it to make a mint, on paper, before everything went south. It all went south over 15 years ago, but credit is still frozen. Average consumers simply cannot obtain credit. Even…
Romney Points to Fact That $2.8m in Taxes is Far Higher than What Most Americans Pay
TALLAHASSEE, FL – Embattled Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney has defended himself over the controversy surrounding his tax percentage, insisting that the $2.8m he pays annually is “far more than what most people pay in a single year.” Speaking at…
What Is Wrong With This Picture from Afghanistan?
Since the beginning of the Afghan war, the coalition forces have been having a hard time training and getting the loyalty of the Afghan police and soldiers they were training to fight the Taliban and Al Queda. “Why?” so many…
Kenya Defence Force Admits “Minor Borrowing” During Mall Siege
NAIROBI, Kenya– After weeks of denying stealing anything from the Westgate Mall following attacks by the al-Shaaabab, the Kenya Defence Forces have finally admitted they stole bottled water from one of the supermarkets. This came on the wake of the…
Here are the Biggest Lies About Seatac Prop-One
This isn’t my fight. I’m new here, but I read up on it and I can’t even believe it’s up for debate. SeaTac should raise wages for airport workers for too many reasons to count, but what’s more, the reasons…