Category: War Zone
Al Qaeda Dusts Off the Usama Bin Laden Doll for Another Video
Cave Town, Pakistan (GlossyNews) — Al Queda has brought their ‘El Cid’ out into the fresh air again to renew belief in their cause and to yank the West’s chain. According to news sources Usama bin Laden has made a…
Obama Sends Sarah Palin on Secret Mission
President Obama has promised to grant Sarah Palin her biggest wish ever-an inkling of credibility- if she can locate the most wanted man in the world, Osama bin Laden, and bring back his walking cane. The “secret” mission dubbed by Democrats as the “Bimbo in Limbo” is a way to show that President Obama is willing to work with Palin, while allowing her to do something productive besides running her mouth, although she plans to feed her fans inflammatory statements via Twitter during the entire process.
Islamic Extremists Issue Fatwa Against American Poodle
SAN FRANCISCO, CA (GlossyNews) — Incensed Islamic extremists issued a fatwa early this evening against an American Muslim poodle named Crystal accused of breeding with an infidel St. Bernard named Herb. “Crystal has been seeing Herb at a local dog…
CIA Caught Spying on Afghan Rug – Part I of I
As related to Glossy News by a well informed cabbie in New York City. Former CIA operative turned whistleblower, Frank Turner, shocked the nation this past Friday recounting his recent hardships in front of a live television audience. Turner, who…
French Destroyer Surrenders to Somali Pirates
Paris (GlossyNews) — The French Ministry of Defense this morning announced that a French Navy destroyer, the FS Ouragan (Hurricane), surrendered to Somali pirates after a small outboard motor powered speed boat came alongside and fired a pistol towards the…
Al-Qaeda Claims Responsibility For Texas Crash
AUSTIN, Texas – A Spokesman for the international terror and hedge fund Organization al-Qaeda has moved swiftly to claim responsibility for the Texas Kamikaze bombing to strike fear into conservative-Texas hearts, at least those of the Texans inside the building…
Officials Discover Al Qaeda Operating Rogue Aviation Network: Low Fares but Horrible Safety Record
TIMBUKTU, Mali – In early 2008, an official at the U.S. Department of Homeland Security sent a report to his superiors detailing the most significant development in aircraft usage since 2001: al Qaeda has been operating a rogue aviation network….
Is Cheney a Traitor? Or Just a Dick?
In the years of the Cheney regime, the word ‘traitor’ took on new meanings unimagined by Funk and Wagnall. The original meaning Webster wrote down some 250 years ago is ‘one who betrays a trust’ — which would pretty much…
Fox News Searches For the New ‘Rwanda Effect’ Effect
Fox News, in its never ending search for more fuel to stoke its listener’s fires, has hired a crack team of psychologists, sociologists, media gurus and general psychopaths to help them find and exploit the ‘Rwanda Effect’. The Rwanda Effect…
Hoekstra Sets Preemptive 2010 Yemeni Strike
Lansing, MI – Rep. Pete Hoekstra (R-Mich.) publicly stated his plans for the Michigan National Guard if he wins election as Governor in 2010: “I’ll lead a preemptive strike to Yemen. I’ve been leading on national security for the last…