Category: Biz News
Study Finds Courier Pigeon Out-Performs BT Broadband
BT’s wholly exaggerated 8 Mb/s broadband service promised to unite the world with super-fast data delivery – but across Britain it seems their web connection speed is markedly slower than a humble carrier pigeon.
France’s Telecom Now Suicide Central
French Telecom workers staged protests on Thursday over a wave of a suicides that union leaders blame on the company’s failure to help staff deal with the stress from restructuring (read mass firings, redundancies and lateral – more at descending…
Bathroom Reading At Work, Man Sets Own Record
Chicago – Looking for some peace and quiet to catch up on your reading? Try the bathroom at work. That’s right. Scott Edmunds (Not his real name), an accountant for an unnamed accounting firm in Chicago, recently read the entire…
Harrods Bans Last of the Mohicans, Presumably on Purpose
A woman whose hair was cut in a Mohican style and dyed incandescent vomit green to raise money for the charity ‘Brain Dead’ was refused entry to Harrods in Shitesbridge because she breached the store’s regulations banning both Cowboys and…
Sneezy Pig Flu Panic Call Centres Close
The UK’s legion of Oinkyitis H1N1 pig flu emergency call centres are to close just weeks after opening because staff have been spending most of their time playing cards and board games and generally sitting around scratching their arses –…
Congress Places Bill of Rights Up for Auction on eBay
Washington, DC (BSNE): Amid much fanfare, Congressional leaders from both parties announced a new series of aggressive raise revenues to off set the skyrocketing Federal Budget Deficit. At the top of the Initiative is to offer the Bill of Rights…
Wal-Mart Trims Payroll: Replaces Employees For 2nd Time
Bentonville, Arkansas-Wal-Mart Corporation today announced a series of cost-cutting moves designed to decrease expenses and improve corporate profits. In this latest initiative, Wal-Mart executives announced a plan to replace over 4,500 current employees with lower-paid newcomers.
Glenn Beck Show Saved By Good Ol’ Boy Advertisers
Glenn Beck is seeing his conventional ad revenues dry up due to his escalation of hate rhetoric, but the redneck community is coming to his aid to help keep him on the air.
Matrix Made Keanu Reeves 1/3rd Billionaire
If you’re a big fan of The Matrix, or The Matrix Reloaded, you likely assume Keanu Reeves earned a hefty Hollywood sum, and you’d be partly right. He did earn a massive pile of money, but it was more like…
Toyota Hybrid Sports Car “Priapus” Gets Greenlight
Toyota Motor Corp. set themselves apart from American automakers in the 80’s and 90’s by designing quality vehicles absent of planned functional obsolescences. This decade Toyota made their mark by introducing the Prius, the first hybrid car to hit the…