Category: Biz News
Little Caesars Pizza sues Ancient Rome for brand infringement
BATTLE CREEK, MI – America’s leading cereal manufacturer, Kellogg’s is suing a Californian non-profit organization, the Maya Archeology Initiative, claiming the nonprofit’s use of a toucan in its logo (left) too closely resembles Kellogg’s famous Fruit Loops cereal icon, Toucan…
Invisible Hand Sees its own Shadow, Two More Fiscal Quarters of Economic Downturn
New York, NY– On wall street today, the opening bell signaled one of the institution’s more macabre traditions, releasing the invisible hand, to determine whether it can see its own shadow or not. This tradition dates back to Adam Smith’s…
Feds Considering Stricter Warnings on Booze Bottles
After 25 years of successful lobbying against warning label reform, Big Tobacco suffered a major defeat this week when the FDA announced that starting in 2012 cigarettes would sport new graphic labels depicting charred lungs and dead bodies warning of…
Amazing New Product, Writer Fiber, Cures Writer’s Block
John Aholi, a writer from Hoboken, New Jersey, has had his fair share of days trying to squeeze out short stories to post on his semi-successful blog “The John.” But now, thanks to a new product called Writer Fiber, the…
Bachmann Blasts Wikipedia; Google for Causing Slow Recovery
In a series of speeches the newly announced presidential candidate Michelle Bachmann blasted popular websites such as Google and Wikipedia for causing the slow economic recovery as pawns in President Obama’s grand plan for “turning our country into a nation…
Rupert Murdoch Hands Out Free Puppies as Apology to Brits
The scandal involving Rupert Murdoch’s News of the World is spreading to Murdoch’s other holdings and some say it could spell doom for his News Corporation empire. Realizing immediately that his newspaper apology was doing nothing to quell the anger…
CBD in Pennsylvania is taking off
Ever since it was legalized, Pennsylvania medical cannabis has been taking over the market. People are rushing to dispensaries and the industry sales have been shooting to the sky! Residents can’t wait to get their hands on CBD to treat…
Sexual Predator Accused of Heading International Monetary Fund
NEW YORK – Renowned French sexual predator Dominique Strauss-Kahn is in police custody today, charged with running a global loansharking scheme that forced impoverished nations to submit to humiliating and degrading terms as a condition of their borrowing. Authorities said…
Baptist Minister Performs Exorcism on Stock Market
New York, NY – GlossyNews.com – “DEMONS OF VOLATILITY, COME OUT!” So declaimed the Rev. Buster Shillerberg yesterday afternoon on the steps of the New York Stock Exchange. The diminutive Reverend Shillerberg spoke in loud oracular tones that rolled like…
Top 15 Tips to Surviving Office Life
Everyone knows how stressful an office environment can be. Work can be hard enough without having to deal with co-workers and office equipment. But the hits just keep on coming, and the hours seem longer and longer. The following list…