Category: Sportsfolk
Sports Channel Scrapes Bottom, Covers Mini Golf
There’s nothing elegant about a three-year-old putting madly at a ball he can’t seem to square up on, but it seems one channel has gone the extra mile by making him an internet sensation. The golfer in question is a…
First Nations Emboldened, Demand Red Sox Change Their Name
With the hurricane centered squarely upon the Washington Red Skins, some native American tribes have seen fit to target the Red Sox, declaring them a hate-group in thier own right. “I’ve watched the Red Sox play for years,” said Margery…
Tiger Woods Unable To Play In Masters After Successful Penisectomy
Tiger Woods announced Tuesday that he has undergone a successful penisectomy for a vestigial weiner that has been haunting him for several years. The surgery was performed Monday in Park City, Utah, by neurosurgeon Dr. Charles Ima Richer. The procedure…
Avid Golfer Furious Over Woman Buying 9 Iron as Weapon
SUN CITY, Florida – George ‘Mac’ McGruder, 69, has been golfing ever since he was old enough to hold a golf club. Wednesdays have always been his golf days, even when he was a physician and ran his own practice….
49ers PR Office Readies for Mass Suicide Sunday Night
The San Francisco 49ers had a terrible 12-4 season, but this Sunday they face the Seattle Seahawks with a stunning 13-3 regular season record. Facing certain defeat, 49ers fans are widely expected to commit mass, ritual suicide. The Seahawks have…
Dennis Rodman Fails to Arrive at Kim Jong Un Palace
Pyongyang, N. Korea – Dennis Rodman reportedly sent a look-alike imposter in his place to supreme leader, Kim Jong Un’s palace Thursday. The leader of N. Korea is said to be hopping mad and may be readying the execution squad…
Dennis Rodman Missing After Jang Song Thaek’s Execution
Although the mainstream media is reporting that Dennis Rodman is still planning on traveling to North Korea next week to begin training North Korea’s basketball team, no one close to Rodman has seen him since the execution of Kim Jong…
Thanksgiving Holiday Raises Age-Old Family Question: What is Football?
Aunt Marjorie is still at the table, Uncle Dave is in the den screaming about God knows what, and all the kids are jacked up on pumpkin pie. Yes, it’s football/Thanksgiving season once again. But what is football? Some Americans…
The Changes to European Club Rugby – Americans Indifferent
There are massive changes afoot in the world of Rugby Union. While there has been some agreement recently as to the future of the sport, there are still many obstacles to overcome. Following an 18-month impasse, the six unions involved…
NFL Footballers Sue Their Sugar Daddy For Head Injuries – Woosies, Wimps
Former professional football players have just announced that they are seeking millions of dollars in damages due to injuries that have resulted from head concussions that have occurred from playing the game. The NFL stands to pay out 765 MILLION…