Category: Sports
McGwire Admits to Using Prayer to Gain Competitive Edge
NEW YORK, NY (GlossyNews) — During a fifty-minute interview with Bob Costas on the MLB Network yesterday, former St. Louis Cardinals slugger Mark McGwire confessed tearfully that he had turned to prayer in order to treat injuries that had kept…
NBA Installing Metal Detectors in All Locker Rooms
The National Basketball Association (NBA) moved quickly to minimize the presence of handguns in locker rooms around the league following an incident in the Washington Wizards locker room on Christmas Eve. Gilbert Arenas, the Wizards leading scorer, and Javaris Crittenton,…
Ashley Madison Not One of Tiger Woods’ Mistresses
If Ashley Madison is not one of Tiger Woods’ many mistresses, then who is she and what does this have to do with Tiger Woods you ask? Plenty. If you didn’t know better, you’d think that Ashley Madison was just…
Waterboarding Added To Olympics For ’10
IOC Headquarters, Switzerland – In a little-known press conference outside the offices of the International Olympics, The President of the International Olympic Committee (IOC), Jacques Rogge, announced that after long consideration and research with the UN and throughout the world,…
Building Overtakes Basketball… Poms Excel
The Women of Notre Dame officially opened their basketball season on the 15th against unranked University of Arkansas-Pine Bluff at the newly renovated Purcell Pavilion of the Joyce Athletic and Convocation Center. The 102 to 57 rout of UAPB was…
Man Dressed as Sheep Barbequed
A tartan-clad football hooligan is due to appear in court today to face charges concerning an incident in which an Aberdeen Woolybacks team soccer fan wearing a ‘black sheep’ Halloween fancy dress costume suffered second degree burns after being set…
Celebrity Egocentric Obviously Jailed for Assault
One of the UK’s legion of shit-for-brains overpaid Premier League footballers broke a woman’s nose with a single head butt after declaring, “Don’t you know who I am? I’m an effin’ millionaire”, a jury sitting at Smegmadale Assizes heard in…
Phillies Fan Flogs Golly for Tickets
An American woman charged with offering sex in exchange for World Series baseball tickets maintains she has committed no crime nor done anything wrong by flogging her golly on the internet. “I’m not embarrassed about my actions but I’m effin’…
Flight Wins 23rd Annual Eau Claire–St. Cloud Corn Maze
Minneapolis, MN — An Airbus A320 jet flown by a Northwest Airlines pilot and co-pilot have won the 23rd Annual Eau Claire—St. Cloud Corn Maze Run. The oldest airplane corn maze in the western world announced NWA Flight 188 were…
Hippocratic Oath to Hypocritic Oaf, Damp Man Left to Die
A crap-for-brains jobsworth ambulance chief refused to allow his emergency response paramedics to enter six inches of water to treat a man with a fractured spine – as it constituted a breach of heath and safety regulations. The jinxed Wilf…