Archive | Religionism

Jesus Deplores Decline in his Social Mobility (2/2)

Jesus Deplores Decline in his Social Mobility (2/2)

Last time:

Still, I thought things might pick up a bit when I scouted a better deal at the Baha’is and the Ahmadis.

Unfortunately, however, thing didn’t get that much better.

I mean, it was an improvement to some degree, I even got the title of “Manifestation of God,” which was pretty cool, albeit not a patch on my past glory.

I mean, these two jobs were fairly stable, fairly safe, but I kind of got a bit disillusioned. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Religionism0 Comments

Jesus Deplores Decline in his Social Mobility (1/2)

Jesus Deplores Decline in his Social Mobility (1/2)

Jesus thinks his career has been on the slide for millennia (if not for eternity), and he’s just sick of it.

You know, I was once at the absolute top of the pile in the job market. Full-time Son of God.

Actually God.

But you know what? The higher you get, the further you fall. Now I’m starting to know how Wotan feels.

So how did I get to this dire state? Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Religionism0 Comments

4K Glossy News PODCAST 010 (9-28-15)

4K Glossy News PODCAST 010 (9-28-15)

In my latest 4K/UHD podcasts, I cover a lot of ground, some of downright fascinating. Here are just a few of the topics:

This is available in 4K/UHD on YouTube by searching “Glossy Podcast” or as an MP3 on iTunes by searching “Glossy News”.

* Introduction segments come hot, heavy and frequent this week. Continue Reading

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Posted in Podcasts, Religionism0 Comments

‘Is the Pope Catholic?’ No, Says Republican Congressman

‘Is the Pope Catholic?’ No, Says Republican Congressman

Dennis Ladel, a Republican congressman from central Arkansas, says Pope Francis ‘is not Catholic enough to be Pope’.

The freshman congressman objected to a number of positions the Pope took softening the Church opposition on gay civil unions, contraception and divorce.

Mr. Ladels comments, aside from sparking a backlash from Catholics worldwide, may have greater implications by throwing into question millions of decisions that were confirmed by the phrase ‘Is the Pope Catholic?’ Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, Religionism, World News1 Comment

Same Sex Jail Romance Leads to Kentucky Clerk’s Change of Heart

Same Sex Jail Romance Leads to Kentucky Clerk’s Change of Heart

Kentucky Clerk Kim Davis, who refused to issue gay marriage licenses and was taken into federal custody for contempt of court, has posted bond and been released after having a change of heart in jail.

After experiencing what she called a quasi-religious experience with her female cell mate, Davis returned to her job, her cheeks flushed and a smile spread across her formerly dumpy disposition. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Making Headlines, Politics, Religionism, Society, Top Stories0 Comments

Vatican Ruthlessly Canonizes Ungrateful Dead Infidel

Vatican Ruthlessly Canonizes Ungrateful Dead Infidel

A scandalous leaked document from the Vatican highlights an utterly disgraceful and absolutely unbelievable lapse of judgment on the part of top Church authorities…

One which will almost certainly make the Church’s reputation plummet to unprecedented depths.

But what is it? Continue Reading

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Posted in Music, Religionism0 Comments

Megachurch Enterpreneur Launches Hostile Takeover of Vatican

Megachurch Enterpreneur Launches Hostile Takeover of Vatican

Pope Francis has recently denounced the efforts by notable megachurch entrepreneur Merle Swaggett to buy out the Vatican and run the Church on a more modern basis:

The Catholic Church has been around for a fairly long time, but there are some who envy our long track record of spiritual and material success. Continue Reading

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Posted in Religionism, World News0 Comments

New Church Dictates the Jailed Must Get Steak, Lobster, Internet

New Church Dictates the Jailed Must Get Steak, Lobster, Internet

Separation of Church & State means a prison can’t tell you what to eat. They can’t force you to eat pork and, this church hopes, they cannot deny you lobster.

Jails are terrible [citation needed] and inmates often do anything they can just to feel like they have an ounce of control in their lives.

Dietary hassles are not just the beginning, they’re also usually the end. Continue Reading

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Posted in Podcasts, Religionism0 Comments

Pat Robertson: Gay Atheists are the Shocktroops of Iran

Pat Robertson: Gay Atheists are the Shocktroops of Iran

Pat Robertson is concerned at the mortal peril certain “bad folks” pose to people in the USA, and just this once, he’s not been shy to get to the root of the problem.

Now, listen carefully, my dear friends. If we are going to let all these, you know, these hooomoseeexual atheiiists, you know, if we tolerate them, let them work in our public facilities and business corporations….

Well, you’ve probably heard it before, but I’m gonna tell you, because it’s the truth, and it bears repeating. Continue Reading

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Posted in Religionism, Television0 Comments

Jehovah Flip-Flops on Smiting Blood Transfusion Patients (3/3)

Jehovah Flip-Flops on Smiting Blood Transfusion Patients (3/3)

Here are the rest of the commandments the Watchtower is graciously bestowing on the followers of Jehovah…

In order to facilitate any relatively ethical, accountable and non-abusive uses of the generally satanic and perniciously demonic spiritual technology known as “blood transfusions.” Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Religionism0 Comments

Jehovah Flip-Flops on Smiting Blood Transfusion Patients (2/3)

Jehovah Flip-Flops on Smiting Blood Transfusion Patients (2/3)

Last time:

OOF! Well, that was a nice Godly-Gish-sermon to tire you out. Now that you’re on the ropes, I’ll rush through the more embarrassing bit.

But what could it possibly be?

(Psst! Cryptic and mysteriously recondite hint… READ THE DAMN TITLE!).

Ha! Nope! You didn’t just hear me say I was playing mind games. It was just the Devil whispering in your ear. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Religionism0 Comments

Jehovah Flip-Flops on Smiting Blood Transfusion Patients (1/3)

Jehovah Flip-Flops on Smiting Blood Transfusion Patients (1/3)

Well, it only took me a day to beat The Respect Police! 😛

And to publish my astonishing revelation of the boundless grace, mercy and abhorrently irrational bullshit…

That Lord Jehovah (of Watchtower celebrity fame and stardom) dispenses to his most achingly subservient and submissive followers.

So, this is the latest (not-so-)private revelation from the Lord that Jehovah has granted unto his best buddies (abject servants) among the Witnesses. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Religionism0 Comments

Texas GOP Passes Bill Forcing Men to Have Pre-Vasectomy Sonograms

Texas GOP Passes Bill Forcing Men to Have Pre-Vasectomy Sonograms

In a surprising upset for gender equality groups, the Texas GOP passed a bill requiring men to have sonograms prior to receiving vasectomies.

This includes a three-day waiting period before going through with this “unGodly” procedure of “tearing asunder what God joined together [at birth,]” specifically one’s nutsack, according to head of the Texas GOP Chief Biblical Scholar Chick “Goober” Pease. Continue Reading

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Posted in Health, Religionism0 Comments

Sinister Spooks Threaten GlossyNews re: Forthcoming Jehovah Smackdown

Sinister Spooks Threaten GlossyNews re: Forthcoming Jehovah Smackdown

Wallace Runnymede has been threatened with legal action by malign and powerful West Coast bureaucratic forces that he is strictly forbidden to name…

On account of his anticipated smackdown on the Jehovah’s Witnesses sect.

GlossyNews? Well, that as well.

Still, as Wallace Runnymede delights in pissing all over third rails, this is not such a problem for him.

More importantly, notable krap-aid-cult and edgy fringe spiritual-dogmatising-club, Jehovah’s Witnesses, has finally given permission for children to get blood transfusions. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Religionism0 Comments

God Issues Defamation & Copyright Cease and Desist

God Issues Defamation & Copyright Cease and Desist

One tragic “unintended consequence” of the DMCA is that it has resulted in a currently unverified premature leak of a document God was planning to reveal to the world.

Or at least to those who had ears to hear.

I can’t say for sure if the following transcript is for real.

Still, I guess this is one of those things. You either believe it or you don’t.

Listen, everybody. Now, I’m a pretty nice person. I mean, there’s no one in this world who is more loving and generous than me! Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Religionism0 Comments

Governor Haley Proposes Replacing Confederate Flag with Dukes of Hazzard Flag

Governor Haley Proposes Replacing Confederate Flag with Dukes of Hazzard Flag

Republican Governor Nikki Haley called for the removal of the Confederate flag in the capital of South Carolina Monday, after pressure from many who called the flag racist and divisive.

The pressure was mounting, after a white supremacist opened fire on an historic church in Charleston, killing nine black people.

Governor Haley earlier had defended the flag as a symbol of Southern pride and history, but as a compromise to remove it, she has proposed replacing it with another symbol of Southern pride, the flag from the 1970’s-80’s show, The Dukes of Hazzard. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, Religionism0 Comments

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