Category: Society
EU Gets “Ruff” as Pets Banned from Barkin’ Parks
In what community critics across the UK are calling the most stupid idea to be thought up since the last stupid idea was thought up, borough councils in England and Wales have used their draconic new EU powers to ban…
Kid’s Balloon Stunt Mobilizes Entire Nation
A six-year-old boy thought to have been carried away by a helium-filled weather balloon in Colorado was in fact hiding in the kitchen fridge – behind the remains of last Thanksgiving’s Day turkey, a Dorksborough County deputy informed Fux News….
Europe Bans Pregnancy Cheese
A supermarket has apologised to one of its teenage female customers after she was told she could not buy mature Cheddar cheese due being pregnant. Candida Muffitch, a 15-year old schoolgirl currently studying for her A-Level exams in Benefit Fraud…
Ask Hank: Cheating Husband Becomes Latter Day Lover
Dear Hank, I’ve been cheating on my wife since before I met her, and I think she might be starting to get suspicious. It’s getting pretty hairy, but winter is coming so we don’t do too much shaving up here…
Brazil Steals Oktoberfest from Germans
Blumenau, SC, Brazil – In what can only be called the biggest beer coup of the decade, the town of Blumenau, Brazil has stolen yet another world’s biggest party, this time from the Germans. When it comes to hedonism, Brazilians…
Written Driving Test to Ferret Fast, Furious Drivers
The current UK Driving and Vehicle Licensing Agency’s driving test theory section is proving to be nothing more than a crooked revenue generator of Ponzi / Pyramid scheme proportions for the dodgy New Labour government. The theory side of the…
Rev. Moon Sells Off Mass-Marriage to Mormons
Sun Moon University, Seoul, South Korea —The final 10,000 Moonies exchanged their marriage vows this week. The ceremony came just before Utah’s Latter Day Saints, the Mormons, prepared to take over the franchise from Rev. Moon and his three sons.
Most Idiotic Nuisance 999 Calls Revealed
A Smegmadale Jewish priest, Rabbi Sheldon Scrunt, dialled 999 when staff at Manchester Airport’s W H Smuts bookstore would not allow him to use the toilet, then subsequently shit kittens when the plods turned up and arrested him for making…
Postmen’s Union Decry Canine Attacks
Police do not take pet animal attacks on postal delivery workers seriously enough, irate union leaders told press hacks during their annual Christmas piss-up at Smegmadale’s Fighting Dog and Pikey pub. The claim comes after postman Sheldon Scrunt suffered severe…
Disturbing Sexual Trend Gives Kids New Place To Stick It
Columbus, OH – A mother and daughter wait in a sterile examining room. The daughter shifts uncomfortably on the crinkly paper sheet atop the standard issue table bed. The news from the doctor is grim: the girl may never hear…