Category: Society
Church Choirs Get ‘Shut the Hell Up’ Notices, Finally
Two churches in London have been ordered to keep the noise down after neighbours complained about the deafening hymn renditions from their choir’s singing voices at Sunday services. Noise abatement notices were issued to the Church of Latter Day Rastafarians…
Buck-Ass Nekkid Germans Hit the Hiking Trail
Germany has a history of being traditionally tolerant of nudity – especially so having been caught with their collective pants down in two World Wars across the past century – but a plan to give naked ramblers their own wilderness…
McRestaurant McReminds McTourists of McHome
If you’ve ever traveled, whether it was across town or across the world, the one thing you wanted more than unlimited outgoing calls from your room was something familiar that reminded you of home. In my case I could think…
Dubya to Become Moronvational Speaker
Who was the Illuminati’s PNAC stooge that got the US embroiled in two illegal foreign wars – solely to steal oil and opium – then a monster recession of Biblical proportions – ending up his two dodgy four-year terms with…
Health Emergency Declared at Strip Clubs Citing H1N1 Fears, This Time
President Barack Obama officially declared a public health emergency due to H1N1 on Friday evening, and did so with a gusto uncustomary even for him. The Obama Administration said this proclamation will waive certain standard federal requirements as needed, on…
Stiletto Blitz on Co-worker Nets Probation for Exotic Dancer
Dateline: Akron OH – Ohio State Police reported in April that a fifty-two year old exotic dancer was assaulted by a co-worker, with a nine inch stiletto heal, on her first evening of work. Dancer Renatta Sarduchi was attacked by…
Church Declares Halloween ‘Demonic’, 5 Old Ladies Shocked
A Smegmashire Church of England magazine – the Avenging Angel – has drawn severe criticism from the laity for describing people participating in traditional Halloween celebrations as “siding with the Devil”. The Avenging Angel article also claims the children’s practice…
Toy Shop Owner Faces Bankruptcy Over “Cursing” Doll Mix-Up
New York, NY – A Hoboken toy shop owner is suing a Chinese doll manufacturer for unspecified damages claiming that the “cursing” dolls he ordered “don’t even f**king talk.” Hoping to cash in on the annual round of innocent dolls,…
UN Official Calls for Promotion of Sodomy, Buggery, Family Values
At the United Nations Population Control Conference in Istanbul last week the Saudi Arabian-born executive director of the UN Population Fund, MsThoraya Obaid, called for more funding for the propagation of Third World population control and the ‘de-stigmatizing’ of sodomy….
Disabled Tortoise Saved from Rubbish Tip
A 30-year-old disabled tortoise (ingrown toenails and harelip), unwittingly sent to a landfill site with its owner’s rubbish, has been found alive. Sheldrake, a greater-crested Galapagos tortoise, owned by Gladys Hawksbill of Scumbridge Gardens in Smegmashire, climbed into a bin…