Category: Human Interest
FDA Approve Female ‘Viagra’, 4-hr Erection Notice Remains
Worry not ladies, the medical profession now unanimously accepts that it’s not your fault you no longer have the insatiable libido of a 17-year-old nympho’ and don’t ‘sexperience’ multiple juice-gushing orgasms every time you get yourself off with a rampant…
Depressing Office Filled With Depressing Looking People
MANHATTAN, NY. – Despite talks of economic recession, the Tristis corporate headquarters on Whitehall Street is very proud to display 35 stories of boring and lackluster architectural design populated by a depressed, overworked, and underpaid staff.
Christmas Light De-tangling Contest Erupts in Violence
Holy Smokes, VA – The first annual Christmas lights de-tangling contest held at the local BPOE lodge was interrupted late in the evening when one of the contestants, Harvey Smith, pulled a gun on fellow contestant, John Houdini, accusing him…
Mischief Night = Domestic Terrorism
Dog feces-smearing, egg-throwing, gate-stealing, nailing cats to people’s front doors, or setting fire to wheelie bins and disabled pensioners. That can only mean one thing – it’s Manky Mischief Night again. While being an established and centuries-old tradition in northern…
Beefeaters Accused of Rampant Sexism
Two Beefeaters at the Tower of London have been suspended from duty – by the thumbs – while a third is currently undergoing a course of extraordinary rendition in the Tower’s basement dungeons in connection with allegations of harassing their…
School Brands Five-Year Old Racist Pig
Let me tell you about Oriole Jaffacake. He’s a very bright five-year old child and comes from a nice home. Oriole is extremely polite, courteous and a normal healthy boy in both mind and body – and has a friend…
Guilty Verdict for Chavette Cat Killer
A 16-year-old Camberwell chavette has been ordered to perform 200 hours of community service work for the crew of HMS Belfast after being found guilty of drowning a cat which lived on the battleship. The teenager, Chantelle McSlag, who can’t…
Disabled Tortoise Saved from Rubbish Tip
A 30-year-old disabled tortoise (ingrown toenails and harelip), unwittingly sent to a landfill site with its owner’s rubbish, has been found alive. Sheldrake, a greater-crested Galapagos tortoise, owned by Gladys Hawksbill of Scumbridge Gardens in Smegmashire, climbed into a bin…
Obama & His Merry Men Seek to Shake-Down Wall Street
The White House has leaked what costumes the Obamas will be wearing at the annual White House Halloween Ball. The President has chosen to be Robin Hood, and Mrs. President will become Maid Marian. The theme for the ball this…
Study Shocker: Public Transit Customer Service Sucks
A London Underground tube train worker has been suspended after a carriage mounted CCTV recording of him yelling at an elderly passenger and calling him a “jumped up wrinkly old git” emerged following a string of complaints by an excess…