Study Shocker: Public Transit Customer Service Sucks

A London Underground tube train worker has been suspended after a carriage mounted CCTV recording of him yelling at an elderly passenger and calling him a “jumped up wrinkly old git” emerged following a string of complaints by an excess of 200 commuters.

The incident was further captured by several other passengers on their mobile phones and digital video cameras showing the 96-year old disabled pensioner, Arthur Scrunt, involved in a heated conversation with a Transport for London ‘steward’ – later identified as Jasper MacTwatte – from the Renta-Thug Security Agency.

The power-mad MacTwatte apparently went into a total frenzied shouting and spitting mode – poking the terrified Mr Scrunt in the chest with his finger and calling him a ‘jumped up little git’ and an ‘effin’ pansy’ before apparently threatening to ‘sling him under the train’ for making a complaint.

Fellow passenger Ms. Chlamydia Muffitch QC, a pro bono attorney for Amnesty International and other human rights and wrongs groups, told Pox News “The elderly disabled man – Mr. Scrunt – had got his leg stuck in the door of the Lolomove train when it closed prematurely as he was boarding – hence he fell to the floor and howled for help.”

“This so-called TfL steward – Jasper MacTwatte – comes along and drags the old gentleman upright and starts to berate him for getting his foot caught and holding up the train’s departure.”

“Honestly, where does Transport for London get these people from – Bullies-R-Us or a mental institution for psychopaths? They are definitely not hired for their customer service relations skills.”

Ms. Muffitch said when Mr Scrunt attempted to explain how his leg came to be trapped and why he fell MacTwatte started shouting at him, threatening “Listen yer stupid old cunt, if yer try ter make a complaint I’ll sling yer under the effin’ train – so shut the fuck up – or else yer for it.” “I’m not holdin’ this train up just cos yer got yer stupid leg stuck cos yer an effin’ cripple.”

Apparently the TfL steward then turned to face the other passengers and realised he was being photographed, filmed and recorded and attempted to dismiss the incident with “Disabled people do this on purpose an’ make an effin’ big fuss just so they can file personal injury claims against us.”

Ms Muffitch concluded with the comment she thought the incident was particularly bad timing, coming the day after Mayor of London Bonkers Boris Nonsense announced fare increases on the Underground to cover the costs of their all-new and improved excellent commuter services.

For the benefit of non-Brit’s the London Underground is neither an anarchist or terrorist organisation, nor a counter-revolutionary movement.

Author: Rusty

Rusty's Skewed News Views are spoof publications, fired by the ironies of human nature and tempered with elements of satire and parody, and should not, therefore, be taken too seriously. These are inspired by traveling around the Earth more times than Skylab and composed while observing the inherent idiocies of Mankind. Thus lawyers be duly advised : All libel writs issued on behalf of offended humourless ego's and / or those blighted by unqualified arrogance herein lampooned may be addressed to : Rusty the Boddington's Badger, Igloo 27, Pasquinade Gardens, Penguin Parade, Ross Ice Shelf, Antarctica - or via

1 thought on “Study Shocker: Public Transit Customer Service Sucks

  1. Hold on a second. I just can’t believe that publicc transit operators are anything less that good, well meaning, well intentioned, highly paid, non-dick non A hole helpers of the common good… oh wait you said public transit.

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