Category: Health
America Ranks #1 in Human Energy Conservation (Laziness)
One of President Obama’s campaign promises was to address the energy crisis. It’s one of his top priorities just after healthcare reform, job creation, education reform and improving his Baseball Opening Day Ceremonial Curve Ball (needs a lot of work)….
Bottled Water Making Its Way to Alaska- Like Taking Mountains to Mohammed
Bottled water- who could ever, outside of professional con men such as P.T. Barnum and Soapy Smith, would ever have thought that it would be possible to put water in a bottle and actually get someone to buy it, except,…
Common Spastic Condition Receives a New Name
From today, nobody will ever again suffer from the annoying and temporary condition known as the hiccups, according to the World Health Organisation (WHO). That is because they have suddenly decided to name them after their cause rather than the…
Autism Speaks Discovers Cure for Autism
In a shock announcement yesterday, Autism Speaks, based in Long Island, New York, stated that after years of struggle, they had finally discovered a way to cure a condition that has baffled parents and scientists alike since it was first…
Waiter? There’s A Hair in Her Armpit
Shock swept across Orange County when a woman at a café lifted her arm to ask for the bill and revealed she had armpit hair. It is unknown how the woman acquired the hair and as to whether it was…
Autism Expert Proven He is Anything But
Having already agreed a few days ago to interview Professor Simon Baron-Cohen, the 54-year-old director of the University of Cambridge’s Autism Research Centre, I was surprised yesterday when he asked to scrap the list of pre-approved questions so he could…
Obesity Epidemic Caused by Lack of Nicotine, According to “Doctor”
Center for Disease Control (CDC) Assistant Director, Doctor Richard Fulcrum, announced today that the major cause of obesity in the United States is that scores of Americans are quitting smoking and depriving their bodies of nicotine. “We notice that from…
Traffic Light Nutritional Coding System Given Green Light
A new system of coding fat, sugar and salt content has been approved and would mean that all pre-packed food would have to display a colour coded guide on the front of the package. Red would mean high in fat,…
Microwave Dinner Tempts Palate w/ Tones of Crumb, Salt
It is not a meal that I usually sit down to, preferring Italian and Thai; I went in with preconceptions and hesitations about its conception and direction. Visually, this is not stunning or groundbreaking, the colours are a little mediocre…
Tea is Gateway Drug to Coffee
New research has found that Tea, a drug which contains caffeine and can also effect the cannabiniod receptors and is popular with both the English and Chinese, can lead to harder drugs like Filter Coffee, Lattes and Espressos. Research carried out by the charity…