Waiter? There’s A Hair in Her Armpit

Shock swept across Orange County when a woman at a café lifted her arm to ask for the bill and revealed she had armpit hair.

It is unknown how the woman acquired the hair and as to whether it was real but fellow customers were outraged, some not being able to finish their lunch and others having to leave.

The manager of Café Orange (French for ‘orange’) said that he had dealt with the matter with respect and had kindly asked the woman to leave, as she was upsetting his customers by challenging their perceptions of beauty over lunch.


The incident has raised questions as to how a woman could have hair on her body other than on her head and eyebrows.

A scientist has told Glossy News that at one point in humanity’s evolution, women did in fact have hair under their arms.

“Women have been known to have hair under their armpits for thousands of years and is believed to have prevented the culture of bacteria on sweat glands in the arm pit,” Dr Shelby informed us. He went on to say that women’s armpit hair began disappearing at the beginning of the 1900s.

Worryingly for the people of Orange County, Dr Shelby went on to say that there have been pockets of armpit hair outbreaks in Europe, implying that it is contagious. Worst yet, women also used to have hair on their legs.

No reports of such symptoms have yet been reported to heath professionals, but the OC remains on high alert following the Café Orange occurrence.


6 comments on “Waiter? There’s A Hair in Her Armpit

  1. Who cares? She’s cute!
    I once found a hair in the soup a waitress gave me, but I didn’t mind.
    It was a pubic hair and I asked her if she wanted me to put it back where it came from and she said “Yes.”

  2. A bit satirical, yes, but there’s some truth. Europeans cannot believe how conservative people are in the USA. Everything has to be done in the same way, same words, same attitudes, same ambitions, same values. They even all say “Oh my Gaaahhhhd” in a chorus if anything goes wrong. If you want to express yourself, emigrate

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