Category: Science & Technologizzy
Scientists Redefine Kilogram Using Mass of Local Chicago Man
After much debate, the International Bureau of Weights and Measures (IBWM) has finally agreed to peg the exalted kilogram to the consistently stable weight of Chicago area man Travis Phillips.
Acme Corporation Profits from BP Spill Efforts
Acme Corporation is reporting a huge profit upswing this month. Acme is the chief supplier of underwater doo-dads for BP Corporation, the sponsors of what is now the largest oil spill ever, on wonder why they are the biggest, they…
Economy Causes Jupiter Cloud Downsizing
Boat-Upon-River, Oxfordshire, England, Great Britain (GlossyUKNews) — Professor Percy Hyde-Warf spoke from Oxford’s esteemed Council on Planetary Stuff this week on the planet Jupiter’s recent atmospheric changes. The CPS Director told reporters, “In short ladies and gentlemen, it’s those bloody…
Obama Inspires Oil Spill to Clean Itself Up
Smelly Corners, LA (GlossyNews) — President Barack Obama’s recent visit to the Gulf Coast was billed as a chance for the Commander in Chief to assess the damage caused by the massive oil spill, but a top White House aid…
Obama Offers Citizenship to Mexicans Who Help Clean Up Oil Spill
Washington D C (GlossyNews) — In a stroke of political genius, President Obama has figured out a way to kill two birds with one oil blob. He has offered full American citizenship to any illegal immigrant who brings a mop,…
Next iPad Prototype Found in Parking Lot
Cupertino, Ca (GlossyNews) — In what seemed to be a case of apparent carelessness on the part of an alleged Apple employee a next generation iPad was reported lost — eventually found — in a parking lot. A leading technology…
Woman Sues Google After Attempting to Cross Street
Reno, NV (GlossyNews) — A Reno NV woman became the second person to sue Google because of an issue with Google Maps. Similar to an earlier action in Park City, UT, the woman, Eustancia Dumas is suing Google for poor…
World’s First Obedient Cat Stuns Scientists
Providence, RI – Sir Wiggims, the 12-pound Persian who belongs to Sherry and Gordon Foster is not any ordinary house cat. In fact, most who see him in action wonder if he is indeed a dog in cat’s clothing. That’s…
Pet Stores Donate Birds to Sop Up BP Oil Spill
New Orleans, LA (GlossyNews) — The announcement that shipments of millions of small household pets would be soon arriving to the gulf region was met with cheers by cleanup crews who had all but exhausted local populations of coastal animals….
God Photoshops Jupiter
Galley Leio, Australia – An amateur astronomer from Australia has photos to prove that God has a computer and He’s pretty good at photoshopping objects in the universe to change their appearance (God that is). Take Jupiter for example. Astronomers…