Category: News In Your Briefs
Male Bonding Imbroglio Leads to Tragic Tussle with Transvestite
New Orleans, LA (GlossyNews) –A male bonding imbroglio has landed two fraternity boys in the clink for attacking a transvestite who stopped to ask them directions. According to local Transvestite, Katrina Sapphire, it went down like this: “Girl-I was jus…
Fortune Magazine Names Hollister, California Most Gullible City in America
New York, NY – This dubious recognition came on the heels of a story which appeared on the Glossy News website in February 2010, see here, wherein Hollister, California was depicted as a creepy town by executives of a British…
Status Update: Brian White Rejected from Harvard
[Ed Note: This story was originally run on Monday April 12, but we inadvertently left out all of the nouns.] Boston, Mass (GlossyNews) In sad and disappointing news this morning, Glossy News publisher Brian White was informed by officials at…
The ‘Lady Who Does That’ Suddenly Quits — Creating Office Chaos
Carla Waters, known around the office as “The Lady Who Does That,” is really not there today. Her departure has created mass confusion and outright hysteria among the customer service department of Bulger, Inc. Waters, who worked for Bulger for…
Supreme Court to Allow Corporations to Carry Guns
Washington DC (GlossyNews) — The United States Supreme Court has declared that faceless corporations, now considered full citizens with all the rights of free speech and whatnot, can now openly carry their weapon of choice in public. During the hearing,…
Yoko Ono Admits She Also Broke Up the Partridge Family
San Pueblo, CA (GlossyNews) — In a recent interview with Glossy News, Yoko Ono admitted, finally, that she was responsible for the break up of The Beatles. In an interesting side note, Ono went on to say that she was…
White Janitor at Alabama State Home Protests Obamacare
A white janitor working in the Alabama State Home for the Mentally Infirm is furious about the new law approved by Congress to give all Americans access to health care. “We dun had enough of this danged cooned-ass President trying…
Michael Savage is Really a Little Dick
Jacksonville, Ms (GlossyNews) — The fans of right wing talk show host Michael Savage are leaving him in droves upon learning that he is not really ‘Savage’ but actually a wienie. It was revealed today that his real name is…
East Texas Couple Kidnaps Baby for Facebook Pictures
Last week, a childless couple in East Texas kidnapped a baby so they could post baby pictures on Facebook. The couple, envious of their friends who are constantly posting pictures of their children on Facebook, grabbed a baby from the…
French General Threatens China, then Quickly Takes it Back
Paris (GlossyNews) — French official are scrambling this afternoon in an apparent effort to appease their enraged Chinese counterparts. The dispute began with reports of an ill-advised boast made by General Pierre Petit on the French Riviera Monday afternoon, where…