A white janitor working in the Alabama State Home for the Mentally Infirm is furious about the new law approved by Congress to give all Americans access to health care.

“We dun had enough of this danged cooned-ass President trying to take away all our freedoms and now he’s a tryin’ to give us helf care. And den I guess it’s gonna be our guns after dat!” claimed Billy Marshall, whose worked at the home as a trustee after being released from life long custody in 1984. “We’re all pissed off and as soon as I get a ride up to Birming’am I’m a gonna make em wicht they ain’t never messed with us white folks down here in Ayabama.” I member when ol’ Martin Lufer King come a prancin’ down here lookin’ all polished and uppity-I thought we dun runned him off. And we wood have too if it wadn’t for dat stoopid idiot President from Texas. If it wudn’t for him, we’d still have a water fountain to drink out of dat ain’t poisoned by coon slobber.”

Asked what he thinks the right future for America should be, now that health care is a right rather than a privilege, Marshall lays out his vision for the future-“I-and I can speak for my Republican brethren-see an America where everyone has a right to do whatever they want and I can get my paycheck and my meds ever week without no one getting in my damn way. Dat‘s da America I see-oh and there should only be one channel to watch-Fox News-cuz they are easy to understand and speak directly to my brain level.”