Archive | Entertainment

Movie Review: ‘South of the Border’ is Dumb

Movie Review: ‘South of the Border’ is Dumb

Posted by your South America correspondents, Maria and Consuela Lopez.

RIO DE JANEIRO, Brasil (NovedadesGlossy) US opening weekend, the new Oliver Stone documentary grossed $21,545. Don’t let that low gross fool you; this film is highly gross. It’s grosser than naked pictures of Woody Allen.

The movie is Mr. Stone running around South America talking to politicians. Talk, talk, talk and it goes on for hours like that! Oh sure, there’s a little bit about some villages getting electricity, and that is a great thing. When I imagine those poor girls living in villages without blow driers, it about makes me cry. Don’t be thinking there’s much of that in ‘South of the Border’ though. It’s mostly ugly fat guys talking. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Talky Pictures, Travel0 Comments

Scholar Proves Bacon and Marlowe Works Written by Shakespeare

Scholar Proves Bacon and Marlowe Works Written by Shakespeare

LONDON BRIDGE, Lake Havasu City, Arizona (GlossyNews) — In a recent, controversial paper for The Journal of Cultural History and Aesthetic Identity, historian Leonard Zelig claims that the works of late sixteenth century cultural giants Christopher Marlowe and Francis Bacon were actually written by a contemporary, a playwright named William Shakespeare, from rural Stratford-on-Avon. “This is going to shock a lot of people,” Zelig said in an interview with Gravier magazine, “But the evidence is pretty clear that this playwright named Shakespeare did all the writing. Two men could not have produced the vast amount of material attributed to them in so short a time.” Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc5 Comments

U.S./Russia to Exchange Spies – Lohan, Gibson Included in Deal

U.S./Russia to Exchange Spies – Lohan, Gibson Included in Deal

NEW YORK, NY (GlossyNews) — In a throwback to the days of the Cold War, the U.S. and Russia will reportedly exchange individuals that each side has charged with spying. The 10 people arrested by the FBI on June 27 for participating in an alleged Russian spy ring will be included as well as Russian researcher Igor Sutyagin, charged with spying for the CIA. The exchange will reportedly take place in London.

In a surprise move, the U.S. offered to include actress Lindsay Lohan and actor Mel Gibson in the deal, sending them off to Russia with the group of 10. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Entertainment3 Comments

American Poodle Club Rushes to Distance Itself from Gore Scandal

American Poodle Club Rushes to Distance Itself from Gore Scandal

PORTLAND, Oregon (GlossyNews) — Police in Portland, Oregon are reopening their investigation into allegations that Al Gore groped and forced himself onto a masseuse at a local hotel in 2006. While not much has been made public about that incident, the one piece of information that continues to come up in news reports is the fact that the masseuse described Gore’s behavior as “acting like a crazed poodle.” Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Celebrity Gossip0 Comments

Gore Claims He Invented the ‘Happy Ending’

Gore Claims He Invented the ‘Happy Ending’

BALLSTON, Virginia (GlossyNews) — Mired amid controversy of alleged infidelity and sexual misconduct, former Vice President and prominent global warming activist, Al Gore, angrily dismissed these accusations today at a press corps luncheon. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Politics0 Comments

Obama Receives Hockey’s Lady Byng Award

Obama Receives Hockey’s Lady Byng Award

MADISON SQUARE GARDEN, New York, NY (GlossyNews) — A puck rang off the iron heads of the NHL’s finest this weekend as Gary Bettman announced Barack Obama recipient of the coveted Lady Byng award. The players, who had waited all season for this the crowning of the league’s choicest pussy, spat like Gatorade their red wines onto the seats before them. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Politics0 Comments

Bob Dylan Offers Help to a Mixed Up World: World Indifferent

Bob Dylan Offers Help to a Mixed Up World: World Indifferent

GARY, Indiana, (GlossyNews) — Sixties icon Bob Dylan appeared, in all of his monochromatic splendor, at the National Press Club this week, announcing a new chapter in what’s already been an amazing career. Said the legendary balladeer, whom some consider the American version of Carl Sandburg, “Iben woando sum further you in furlong tom.” Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Celebrity Gossip0 Comments

Miley Cyrus Posts Topless Photos

Miley Cyrus Posts Topless Photos

HOLLYWOODLAND, California (GlossyNews) — Tween idol Miley Cyrus has once again shocked and baffled her fans and detractors this morning by allowing even more shocking and revealing pictures to be posted to the internet. Some of the pictures are obviously candid shots while others demonstrate her choice of inappropriate and revealing costumes used in her act.

The most shocking are candid photos revealing the singer topless, which we at Glossy News feel obliged to release unedited for their news value. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Entertainment9 Comments

Miley Cyrus Keynote Speaker at Exhibitionists’ Convention

Miley Cyrus Keynote Speaker at Exhibitionists’ Convention

SAN FRANCISCO, Kalifornia (GlossyNews) — Underage puddy cat queen, Miley Cyrus, who stunned her ‘tween fans by climbing out of a convertible in front of hundreds of paparazzi wearing a skin-tight mini dress with no underwear, is keynote speaker at this years Flasher’s convention and Flash-in held in a seedy park near downtown L.A. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Celebrity Gossip0 Comments

Miley Cyrus: My Vagina Now More Popular than Jesus

Miley Cyrus: My Vagina Now More Popular than Jesus

NASHVILLE, Tenn. (GlossyNews) — After blowing the top off the entertainment world by exposing her bottom, a la Britney Spears, Miley Cyrus has come up with another stunner to draw media attention to herself, a la John Lennon: she claims her vagina is now more popular than Jesus.

During a recent press conference in which Cyrus touted her new CD, “Can’t Be Tamed,” Cyrus was asked about the mounting popularity of her underage underworld, recently flashed around the Internet after she allegedly exited a vehicle in front of paparazzi cameras while not wearing panties. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Celebrity Gossip1 Comment

CBS Announces New Reality Show Will ‘Buy American’

CBS Announces New Reality Show Will ‘Buy American’

LOS ANGELES, California (GlossyNews) The producer of TV’s popular “Amazing Race” today revealed expansion plans for the profitable franchise. Speaking from Malibu’s exclusive ‘Psst, You can smoke in here’ Bistro, Lane Fontana wowed reporters. His remarks were also well received by participants in the still going strong Dennis Hopper wake.

“It started with my fears that we’re losing the yokels. Kiefer’s show is off; Simon was smart to bail on his talent contest show. They’re running out of contestants for ‘Dancing with the Stars.’ You watch, Betty White will be on that show, next thing you know. So I just started wondering where do the yokel eyeballs want to go?” Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Entertainment0 Comments

Moose Take Aim on Chickenhawk Ted Nugent

Moose Take Aim on Chickenhawk Ted Nugent

POINT BARROW, Alaska (GlossyNews) — Local Alaskan law enforcement agencies were shocked recently to learn of a plot by local moose to do in redneck rocker Ted Nugent during a concert here. The normally quiet, vegetarian moose have been in a tither since his concert posters were first put up. Their anger is over the fact that the long haired and semi psychopathic Nugent is a famous hunter as well, one who seems to deem it an almost religious undertaking.

“The shooting of animals for sport and meat is a God given virtue that He has given unto man. We are meant to have dominion over the earth and its denizens. That means we have the right to blow them into teensy little pieces if we want to.” Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Entertainment0 Comments

The Helen Thomas ‘Chair of Journalism’ Award

The Helen Thomas ‘Chair of Journalism’ Award

WASHINGTON DC (GlossyNews) — Who’ll be chosen to fill Helen Thomas’s front row seat in the White House briefing room? With serious, big-time lobbying in full-out high dudgeon between Fox and Bloomberg, something has to give soon.

It seems to be slowly pointing to the man with the most — whoa here now — this just in … it looks like it is going to be announced in a minute or two that Fox will win out after all.

Public word from this just-released WHCA press release that Team Murdoch/Ailes have won, with their [secret] submission of the name that will fill that front row seat. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc0 Comments

Lady Gaga Bra Injures Dancers in Rehearsal

Lady Gaga Bra Injures Dancers in Rehearsal

Los Angeles, CA – Little did Lady Gaga realize that the special rifle bra that was created for her “Alejandro” video actually was made from real rifles strapped to the front of the bra in such a way that when she danced, the rifles would sway from side to side.

Unfortunately, while practicing to swing the rifles both in the same direction, one of them got caught in the strapping and swung wildly to the left hitting the other rifle causing it to discharge. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Celebrity Gossip0 Comments

McCartney Comment Prompts Look Inside Bush’s Library

McCartney Comment Prompts Look Inside Bush’s Library

ODESSA, Texas (GlossyNews) — Aside from a few die-hard Republicans who can’t bring themselves to believe that George W. Bush is not the sharpest tool in the shed, most people thought Paul McCartney’s joke regarding George Bush not knowing what a library is was pretty funny and saw nothing wrong with it.

But, to make a point, folks gathered at a Dallas office building to get a first-hand peek at some of the books George W. Bush has read and what books and documents will be included in his memorial library expected to be built in the years to come. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Entertainment2 Comments

Helen Thomas’s Attempt at Satire Backfires

Helen Thomas’s Attempt at Satire Backfires

Washington, D.C. (GlossyNews) -– Fur continues to fly over what some claim are very divisive comments by White House reporter Helen Thomas regarding Israel’s presence in Palestine. While Helen has apologized to everyone regarding the flap, the issue is just not going away and now she is losing speaking engagements because of it. Thomas is reportedly blaming a certain satire site for the insensitive comments made on video. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc0 Comments

We Made a Movie!


Check us out on Kickstarter!


Glossy News Exclusive Exposés


-- (SEE ALL GlossyNews.com Videos) --



Glossy News Fake Commercials!





More Great Satire:

Check out links to even more of our friends...
Want to see Your Link Here?



Our Top Authors (last 30-days)

DHgate.com



All of Our Categories:

Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial