Trump Slams Romney’s Pretentious ‘Business People’ Book (2/2)

Trump Slams Romney’s Pretentious ‘Business People’ Book (2/2)

Last time:

But yes, HOSTILE TAKEOVERS ARE A BIG PROBLEM IN THE BUSINESS WORLD…

Not least because they can risk utterly destroying the personal reputation, or worse still, the business reputation of the person undertaking the purported hostile takeover in question.

In fact, that’s pretty much the only problem.

But it’s still a biggie.

Kind of.

Well, from a particular point of view, I guess.

Right?

Um, wrong?

Mitt Romney always like to clarify his positions, and ensure no-one interprets his views in a one-sided, dogmatic manner.

So, fair’s fair.

(Or is it?)

Either way, here’s what he has to say next.

Um, anyhoo, the best way to avoid the unfortunate and often undeserved stigma of being a “hostile takeover” merchant is to generally avoid hostility.

So if you are conducting a hostile takeover, make sure it’s not “really” a hostile takeover at all.

In fact, the stupid liberal media are unfairly and one-sidedly misrepresenting your beneficial efforts to increase the cash flow within a certain narrowly circumscribed (but not too narrowly circumscribed!) field of action.

So, whenever you pull up your car (try a less flashy or ostentatious one. Like, say, your fifteenth Mercedes Benz, or even a middle-grade limited edition Rolls Royce, at a push!)…

Yes, whenever you drive up to the jealous younger son or thwarted mistress of the company boss (make sure they own at least 40% shares and can offer you a reasonable quid pro quo for your tiresome tireless and disinterested efforts, of course)…

Well, whenever you approach them, don’t just bring your connoisseur’s classic semi-automatic rifle and scream:

Show me the goddamn money, you corrupt rival-corporation-owning bastards!

That’s not very pragmatically expedient. Instead, just offer them a nice cup of camomile tea, sit them down, bring some cookies…

Or even “biscuits” for extra genteel effect.

Or better still, flip-flops aside, some “beeskwee,” for added slick coastal sophistication, if they are actually slick coastal Demo-cronyist types.

And speak to them, warmly and invitingly, gently murmuring:

Look, my dear friend, I promise, hand on heart, I’m really NOT trying to sneak in and destroy my vicious, cruelly corrupt business competitors from the outside…

(I mean, all those for whom my darkened heart cherishes a burning, undying commercial hatred and competitive resentment)…

No, I just want a purely value-free and neutral objective exchange of purely-material-and-non-ethically-charged physical resources.

Like, money.

So if you do this, and you are still accused of a “hostile takeover,’ then at least you will have the warm consolation of knowing that the evil liberal media are twisting your words, yet again.

Purely because you are an actual, genuine, honest to God wealth creator and they’re not, and never will be!

Because, like Satan, they can only twist and manipulate and play with words, but they can’t actually do or create anything of value at all.

Conclusion?

Well, I thought this was a generally plausible and convincing book.

That is to say, it was very much in keeping with what I expected Romney to write.

But on the other hand, Donald Trump was horrified at Romney’s apparent sophistry.

What in the hell does he mean? ‘Personal reputation’ versus ‘business reputation?’ You mean, like there’s actually a difference?!

And Mike Huckabee, normally so easy to please, was not one bit impressed with this classic work of speculatively pious spiritual devotion.

Oh, come on! Would you trust this guy?

I mean, doesn’t Mitt Romney actually believe corporations are people?

Well…

Yes. Apparently he does.

Sorry. Not my problem!

Share

This post was written by

- who has written 367 posts on GlossyNews.com.

Conspirator-in-Chief of the Peace Criminals Project: Neocon Surveillance& Satirical-Industrial Complex! Also published on a range of satire sites. Currently co-editing Glossy News (under the webmaster, Brian K. White). Contact me to pitch or submit your satire! David Cameron says I am a #TerroristSympathizer. Islamists say I am an #Islamophobe. New Atheists think I am a #CravenApologistForPrimitiveBronzeAgeSuperstitions. MRAs & Alt-Right think I'm a #MatriarchalCuck. Others say I'm a #StraightMiddleClassWhiteBoy. And still more think I'm a #FuckingPleb. Just another edgy day at the Satirist's office! I am the Mayor of the Zero Fucks Community ;) @w_runnymede (Twitter) wallacerunnymede@gmail.com

.

Leave a Reply


We are also looking for a satire editor
and a Clever Photoshop Guru...
Glossy News Exclusive Exposés


-- (SEE ALL GlossyNews.com Videos) --



Glossy News Fake Commercials!





Glossy News Podcast


(Listen on iTunes or Libsyn)


More Great Satire:

Check out links to even more of our friends...
Want to see Your Link Here?



Check This Out!

ca-dress.com shop dresses online

Recommended Sportsbook MyBookie.ag

Our Top Authors (last 30-days)



All of Our Categories:

Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial