Mel Gibson, recently ordered to start paying the mother of his child an additional $15,000 a month in child support, decided to take the opportunity to show Grigorieva just how much he disliked the idea and penned a check on his personal checking account, himself, for $15,000 on a roll of toilet paper.

“Yea, we all know how much toilet paper costs these days and how rare it’s becoming in California,” said Gibson. “I figured she’s gonna need all the help she can get seeing as what I pay her doesn’t seem to be be enough to wipe her own bottom.” Continue Reading

HOLLYWOODLAND, California (GlossyNews) — After failing several court mandated drug and alcohol tests that were part of her sentencing arrangement in a recent DUI case involving drugs, actress Lindsay Lohan has found herself once again in the celebrity spotlight while back in front of the infamous L.A. Judge Tyrone Harding.

The recent conviction was tabloid headlines after photos surfaced showing the actress being asked to walk a straight line by a L.A. Sheriff’s Department officer while the camera captured six hypodermic needles dangling from her arm that she forgot to remove before getting behind the wheel. Continue Reading

Psychologists have been following disturbing trends developing from a self help philosophy from the 1980′s called Transactional Analysis. TA is based upon a consciousness growth bestseller book entitled “I’m OK, You’re OK”. Written by Thomas A. Harris MD, it was a book whose primary message was to base all relationships on the premise that everyone is OK just the way they are without any changes, including the reader himself. The publication was a huge international hit offering a message of simple positivism to the world. Since that time many other individuals have altered that simple philosophy in their own ways, some good, some bad. Psychologists from the Institute To Make Everyone As Sane As Is Possible In a Screwy World have found the following disturbing deviations from the original ideas:

The Marine Corps- We’re OK, you are shit. Continue Reading

STOCKHOLM, Sweden (GlossyNews) — Scientists in Stockholm are just now concluding a 5-year long research project designed to determine whether or not mainstream consciousness is finally overpowering mindless consciousness and endangering the world we live in to such a degree that we may find ourselves staring down the real Apocalypse of 2012.

Some of the findings are startling. From the “don’t worry your bottom dollar about it” scenario to “holy shit, we have a crisis on our hands” [our words not theirs], the report is poised to set the social networking world on its head. Continue Reading

SINGAPORE (GlossyNews) — Media experts have been observing a recent trend in how seemingly simple events are portrayed by our news sources. Radical interpretations of ordinary incidents in the lives of the famous seem to be going through major distortions. How we perceive events in our reality is colored by prejudices, opinions and attitudes that we already have present in our minds. Nowhere is this more evident than in the world of politics. Take an example from a day in the life of President Obama as seen by a normal person and as seen by the agents of FOX News: Continue Reading

Houston, TX – GlossyNews.com – Scientists released information, along with a Top Secret report, about the discovery of human remains dressed in what appears to be a yellow house dress. The remains were spotted laying in the open on the surface of the Earth’s moon. The desiccated figure was discovered by the Hubble space telescope last March during a routine scan of the lunar surface.

First reports claimed the body was that of a middle-aged female. A routine inquiry with the Russian Federation’s space program chairman showed that their space program had all cosmonauts accounted for and the body wasn’t any of theirs. Continue Reading

NEW YORK, NEW YORK — GlossyNews: Born June 24, 1952 to German cartoonist parent R. Beuthien, Barbara Millicent Roberts, then known affectionately as Lilli, was post-war, sassy and ambitious and had no reservations talking about sex.

In 1959 Lilli, now a confirmed child protegé, emigrated to the US at the invitation of the Mattel Corporation in New York City where she would soon become the feminine figurehead for the company. Continue Reading

A beaming yet horribly disfigured Bethany Storros met with reporters today to announce her place on the 2011 Showtime fall schedule. The Vancouver native, savoring the notoriety generated by her self-mutilation and false claims of a racially motivated attack, was excited yet anxious about her new career path.

“It’s all happening so fast. I don’t mind telling you, it makes my hideously disfigured head spin! This whole thing was a gamble; I can’t believe it paid off, really. Continue Reading

The headless remains of a suicide bomber who blew the entire cast and production company of the mind-numbing reality show “Dancing with the Stars” to a billion bits, were given a ticker tape parade in New York City over the weekend.

Professor of Sociology, Dr. Rupert Merckle, was spotted in the crowd of thousands of well-wishers and commented on the unbelievably joyous occasion, that so many thought would never come. Continue Reading

Faced with rising public clamor for more 3-D products, US researchers at federal facilities have pressed hard to deliver the world in full, three dimensional viewing. Invigorated by a recent grant of over $100 billion dollars, head scientists feel they can soon fulfill the Obama administration’s promise for “a change you can believe in.” Continue Reading

Taylor Swift and Kanye West will fight another day, this time on MTV’s newest greenlit show, Taylor versus Kanye. The 13 episode series, scheduled to premiere in January, will see the two artists in head-to-head competition every episode.

The series will reportedly have rap battles, dance competitions, mud wrestling and video game tournaments. This move further strengthens MTV’s programming strategy of not having music or music videos anywhere on the network. Continue Reading

When Christine O’Donnell of Delaware won the election to run for a United States Senate seat on the GOP ticket, she was all smiles, but it didn’t take long for the bones in her closet to start rattling. The biggest bone rattler of all turned out to be a very savvy Bill Maher, who just happens to be sitting on a gold mine of old Chris O’Donnell tapes from his old television show, Politically Incorrect. Maher has threatened O’Donnell that if she doesn’t accept his offer to appear on his new show Real Time with Bill Maher, he’s will release a video a week up until the election in November. Continue Reading

The US Postal Service Postmaster General, Melvis P. Phelps, introduced the new Miley Cyrus Upskirt Postage Stamp to a mostly stunned and open mouthed crowd of reporters. Over the hushed crowd, he immediately tried to explain the importance of bringing newer, more youthful stamp collectors and users into the US Postal system.

“Look folks, with the newer generations of consumers, we have to try to approach things on their terms. They like seeing their movie actors and singing stars look like sluts, right?” Continue Reading

Not to impune the comedic gold that is the phenomena of the impractical uselessness of the boomerang, nor the clever brilliance of Clarke & Dawe, but Tim Minchin (Wikipedia or TimMinchin.com) is as funny as anyone you’ll see, as musically brilliant as you could ever hope to find, and more entertaining than anyone you’ll never see in the United States. Continue Reading

On September 16th, Jon Stewart officially announced the Million Moderate March, a “Rally to Restore Sanity”. The event will coincide with Stephen Colbert’s “Stephen Colbert – March to Keep Fear Alive!” rally. This means the passionate, coordinated campaigns of Reddit and ColbertRally.com have actually done the jobs they set out to do. Continue Reading

The highly viewed FOX television show The Glenn Beck Show has surged upward in viewership the last few weeks with the media industry Nomitron Ratings at an unheard of 9.4 high. The only other broadcast to hit anywhere near this mark was Kennedy’s assassination, the moon landing in 1969, and Princess Diana’s death, and of course the pilot episode of the 1983 miniseries “V”, which had a 22 share. Continue Reading