Category: Celebrity Gossip
Rush Limbaugh Crushed Under Falling Vending Machine
PALM BEACH COUNTY, FL – Conservative talk show host Rush Limbaugh was flattened Sunday after a freak accident involving a vending machine left the 61-year-old with multiple injuries. Just 24 hours after issuing an apology to law student Sandra Fluke…
Hecklers Repeatedly Ruin “Last Comic Standing” Legend Ant’s Set
The sold out crowd who showed up to see the wickedly funny Ant paid to see a solid performance, but what they got instead was incessant heckles and jeers from the crowd, some quite delightful. The Los Angeles show was…
Infamously Inflammatory Film Footage Found of Frisky Ironman ‘Fulfilling’ A Fabulous & Famous ‘Friend’
Ha! Ha! I have it! I have got the goods on that famous super hero Tony Stark, also known to the world as the crimson clad can of condensed carbon-steel contorted to his contours creating a cacophonous conjuring of conjunctures…
FBI Agent Believes Mary Kennedy ‘May Have Acted Alone’
WESTCHESTER, NY – Despite inevitable conspiracy theories to the contrary, an FBI agent heading up a preliminary investigation into the apparent suicide of Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s estranged wife Mary Kennedy believes that Mrs Kennedy may have acted alone. Federal…
Lana Del Rey Distraught Over Backwards Spelling of First Name
LOS ANGELES — The winner of a Q Award for her song “Best New Thing” and an MTV Europe Music Award for “Best Alternative Act,” American singer-songwriter Lana Del Rey is devastated that her first name spelled backwards is A-N-A-L….
Al Franken Reportedly Butthurt Over C-SPAN Broadcast
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Critics on the right and left are calling for C-SPAN to apologize after one of its production crew members wrongly configured Senator Al Franken’s identification bar during a broadcast, leading to heaps of butthurt. The incident occurred…
Scandal: Obama Admits Pansexual Affair
WASHINGTON – Tears and beers were the currency in the West Wing as news broke that President Barack Obama confessed to a “torrid and greasy” pansexual affair. Obama could scarcely hold back the tears as he recounted to the press…
Norm Abram Goes on Mass Sawing Spree, 11 People Left With Sheds
CARLISLE, MASS — Celebrity Carpenter and Former Host of PBS’s long-running “New Yankee Workshop” series Norm Abram allegedly went on a mass sawing spree late last night, leaving 11 people with beautiful, finely-built sheds, sources report. Experts claim that all…
Human Really Impressing Other Humans Right Now
We’ve lived on this planet for thirty-five years now, and though we have easily adopted their mannerisms, assumed their practices, and assimilated their languages, we think it’s safe to say there are some things that we will never understand –…
Obama under fire for calling Quvenzhane Wallis the C-Word
President Barack Obama joked about a wide variety of subjects on Saturday at the annual White House Correspondents’ Dinner, but has outraged some with the distasteful quip he made about Quvenzhane Wallis, the Academy Award nominated nine-year old ‘Beasts of…