Lana Del Rey Distraught Over Backwards Spelling of First Name

LOS ANGELES — The winner of a Q Award for her song “Best New Thing” and an MTV Europe Music Award for “Best Alternative Act,” American singer-songwriter Lana Del Rey is devastated that her first name spelled backwards is A-N-A-L.

“Growing up, I never realized it,” said the 28-year-old GQ Woman of the Year. “I actually thought my name was pretty unique. You know, I grew up around a lot of Jessicas, Sarahs, Rachels, and I always thought my name was kind of cool. Now I envy those girls.”

Sources say Del Rey realized the banality of her backwards first name name during a party after the 2013 BRIT awards, where she was recognized as Best International Female Solo Artist. She was playing a party game during which the players tried to yell their names spelled backwards the fastest.

“She yelled out ‘yer led ANAL!’ and started to celebrate because she won,” reported a friend who was also at the party. “But when she saw everyone was staring at her, I think she realized it. She was humiliated, but for her close friends and family it was really a relief, because we had been avoiding the subject for years.”

According to the agent of the Interscope artist, Del Rey is considering going back to her birth name, Elizabeth Grant. “She really thinks Htebazile is a better backwards first name to have than Anal. She just wants to clear up her image and get back to doing what she loves to do. No one likes to be the butt of a joke, and especially someone who is certainly not bringing up the rear of the entertainment industry lately. It never hurts to make a change that will cover your backside.”

Del Rey has a full touring schedule for the remainder of 2013, and she hopes her concerts won’t be misinterpreted in light of her backwards first name hitting the tabloids. “I have been known to show my backside quite a bit when I perform,” she says, “and I just don’t want people to start making irrelevant associations.”

Author: Jeremy Gendelman

Jeremy writes all over the place, but he prefers the couch. He believes fake news is more compelling than real news. He blogs at www.hypertheticallyspeaking.blogspot.com

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