Author: Rusty
French Court Labels Monsanto ‘Serial Liars’, Weeds Uninjured
The Conseil d’Etat, France’s highest court, has ruled that U.S. agrogarchy bully-corp Monsanto has been lying through its proverbial teeth concerning the safety record of the best-selling weed-killer, Phuck_Up. The court confirmed an earlier judgment that Monsanto had falsely advertised…
Zambia’s Political ‘Porno’ Pantomime
The topsy-turvy world of African patronage politics and the executive rule of law have just received not only a good shake up but a sound and square kick in the proverbial goolies – with Zambian President Rupiah Jaffacake being equally…
White House Party Gate Crashed by ‘Vulgarians’
US Secret Service agents today refused to be interviewed by Jacko McScrunt, – the Scallies and Yobs page columnist for the International Daily Shitraker – who was investigating reports that a couple of scumbag social climbers trespassed last night’s state…
Alcohol ‘Protects Men’s Hearts’, Jokes Included
After hearing – and reading – so much crap for so long – that alcohol stuffs up your liver, brain cells, memory, gives you gout, causes stomach ulcers, Diabetes B – Mk 1, 2 and 3 varieties, and a plethora…
Christmas Caroling Obviously Banned as “Offensive”
Oh yes, Christmas is coming, just around the corner in fact. The Festive Season of Peace on Earth and Good Will to all Men. So, are we all prepared for an evening’s visit from our local Church group’s carol singers?…
Cap & Trade Compromise – Eat Pets for Carbon Credit
Doubtless 50% of the UK’s half-awake population have been brainstormed by know-all media pundits gobbing off about the forthcoming global warming propaganda summit in tropical Copenhagen next month – and may well have scratched their arses – and then their…
PA Prudes Ignore Carbon Footprint
Wanksie, Pennsylvania (Dingbat News) – Chlamydia Muffrot, a 94-year old grandmother, was tasered and handcuffed, then charged with ‘domestic terrorism’ by brain-dead Homeland Security goons for pegging out her laundry on a clothesline strung between trees outside her 18th Century…
Not Guilty – by Reason of Being Asleep
A husband who killed his wife by strangling her while he was purportedly asleep and dreaming about fighting off a gang of burglaring scally yobs who broke into his camper van to steal the latest version of the X-Box video…
Breach in Time/Space Continuum Opens Portal to all 9 Circles of Hell, CERN Not Involved
Man recently donned the cloak of Creator and assumed the role of God. His manipulation of ORMEs, the esoteric sciences and applied quantum technologies saw Thomas Moore’s dream bastion of perfection a reality manifested. Utopia Inc., the next best thing…
Cameroon Corruption: Force 9 on Beaufort Scale
Amidst a growing maelstrom of rumour, gossip and scandal Cameroon’s security chief Rastus Chuckabutty has finally admitted some 300,000 people hoping to get jobs in the police force have written, phoned or e-mailed him directly begging for preferential treatment –…