Author: Rusty
New EUSSR Questionnaire – for Five-Year-Olds
The latest Kafkaesque directive to be launched by the Brussels-based E-USSR is a super-intrusive questionnaire to be completed by the parents of 5-year old children who are ready to start school. The dystopic European Bully Boy state’s interrogation sheet contains…
Tesco-saurus Rex Naturally Embroiled in Climategate Scam
A self-proclaimed global warming expert agreed to endorse the UK’s Greediest Grocer’s position on reducing plastic bag use after his institute received a £25 zillion donation from the ubiquitous dominating supermarket chain, according to evidence gleaned by Feral Beryl McScatt…
Stick Figure Drawing Leads Police Straight to Flat, Featureless Killer
A photo-fit identity drawing scribbled down on the back of a whorehouse bar menu by Candida Putata, the sole witness to the murder of Jiggy Moronito, a taxi driver in Santa Cruz, Bolivia, has helped homicide detectives to apprehend six…
Tiger Woods: the New OJ Simpson?
Tiger Woods, in a typical display of celebrity pout and unqualified arrogance, continues to refuse to be interviewed by police officers investigating the five mile per hour catastrophic vehicle accident that occurred directly outside his exclusive suburban Egoville mansion near…
Risk Assessment for Wiping One’s Own Bum
To comply with fresh slapstick Big Brother legislation being issued by the E-USSR’s bored bureaucrats in bonkers Brussels, family homes across Britain could be invaded by HSE inspectors checking that parents are keeping their children safe. Whitehall’s Ministry for Wasting…
Medvedev’s Russia a Business Basket Case
The once-proud and imperial Russian realm of the corrupt and inept Tsars has now turned into a “criminal state”, according to a top UK financial whiz and investor who until recently did business with the country’s leading criminals. Ghengis McTwatte…
Mammoth Crap May Hold Key to Global Warming
Ever since Al Bore’s ‘A Convenient Pile of Bullshit’ movie won an Oscar for the best work of fiction in Hollycrud’s prestigious Academy Awards ‘Propaganda and Scaremongering’ category the eco-fascist AGW alarmist lobby has been searching for anything that might…
US First Lady Tops Google Porno’ Search
Google has issued a provisory apology to the White House regarding a controversial photograph of Michelle Obama – which certain prudish official and media sources – including the Rednecks Gazette, the KKK Monthly, the Jesus Crust Church of Latter Day…
Mandelson McScandalson’s (Pathetic Excuse for?) Last Stand
Gordon ‘Incapability’ Brown is getting lambasted by demands to have a bit of a Cabinet reshuffle and make the current incumbernt Foreign Secretary, David Millipede, Chief Tea wallah while elevating Business Sec’ Lord Peter Scandalson to the vacated post in…
Con-Com’s Phone System Thwarts Jailers, Criminals Not So Much
Sir Jarvis Armitage-Shanks, the chairman of HM Scallydale Prison’s Independent Monitoring Board, told the media that illegal phones are fuelling jailbird drug trading and turning honest penitentiaries into hotbeds of crime. Pontificating to reporters that the only way – in…