In Reaction To Most Recent Mass Shooting Gun Nuts Retaliate That Las Vegas Doesn’t Exist.

In a reaction to the almost universal condemnation of the biggest mass shooting in U.S. history, so-called ‘American’ gun nuts have retorted that the whole episode is just another great liberal hoax, and that Las Vegas doesn’t even exist. The Gun Enthusiasts Needing Obscene Calibers of Insidious Death Engines (G.E.N.O.C.I.D.E.), a firearm cult group, has stated that the whole incident is just a fabrication from the great liberal Satans that have taken over the country and want to take everyone’s guns away, so that it is easier for them to rule the place. Read more In Reaction To Most Recent Mass Shooting Gun Nuts Retaliate That Las Vegas Doesn’t Exist.


Republicans and Democrats Desperate For New Candidates (Bloodsuckers Always Need Fresh Blood)

Republicans and Democrats are actively recruiting fresh meat for their parties. Both need to beef up their candidate numbers and make sure that no one sneaks off to join third parties. But it is not a cake walk to get into their ranks. They have certain standards that must be met. Read more Republicans and Democrats Desperate For New Candidates (Bloodsuckers Always Need Fresh Blood)


Mensa Makes Special Genius Category For Trump.

Mensa, the international high intelligence group that only accepts people who pass a difficult IQ test, have in the age of Trump found a troubling enigma that has causes them to review their intelligence statuses.

The present President-select has provided them with an problem in categorizing him that they had to labor to overcome. What rating do you give a man with such astounding mental process as our current Commandant-In-Chief? Read more Mensa Makes Special Genius Category For Trump.


We Are A Fly On The Wall At The Republican Formation Of The New Health Plan.

We are a fly on the wall at the Republican formation of the new health plan. 

“What are we going to do?” whispered Mitch McConnell secretly to Mike Pence. “If we don’t get this new AbominableCare bill through our handlers will come down on us heavy!”

“First off, I think we should change the name. It sounds too much like ObamaCare. Secondly, what do you mean by handlers?” Read more We Are A Fly On The Wall At The Republican Formation Of The New Health Plan.


We Are A Fly On The Wall At An Early Meeting Of Trump’s Cabinet.

“OK, are we all here?” demanded the President Select as he rushed in fashionably late to his own White House staff meeting.

“Yes, Mr. President, all are present,” answered Kellyanne Conway for everyone.

“Good, good!” mumbled Trump as he busily pulled paperwork out of his attache case. Looking up and glancing around the room, he hushedly asked his Secret Service men, “Did this room get cleared for bugs? We can’t afford to get any fake news leaks started today.” Read more We Are A Fly On The Wall At An Early Meeting Of Trump’s Cabinet.


The Poetry Of Sarah Palin


I shot an arrow
Into the air
It came down
And pegged a hare.
My rifle I shot so straight and true
And brought me down a caribou.
Moose when they see my trail they quake
Ptarmigan their feathers shake.
Full grown bears will turn and run
When they see my Remington.

The creatures know
I’m somewhat prone
To leave them dead,
Their brains out-blown.

To run, now some will not even bother,
They stand stock still, scared to the bone,
It’s because I’m the biggest Mother,
That their woods have ever known.


Mirror, mirror on the wall,
Who’s the grandest of us all?
I’ve seduced McCain, become his Queen
And before the world am now seen.
My realm has grown from Alaska land
To encompass Maine to Rio Grande.
I’m so hot Ted Nugent wants to do me
And yet the Democrats eschew me.
I’m so hot the firemen douse me
When old men try to accost me.

I know now it’s all a game,
A strive for glory, power and fame.
Shake all hands and smile a lot,
Make sure chickens are in every pot.
But I will play a little dumb
And wait for my chance to come
And go hell bent for broke
Should ever the old geezer croak.


On me you must have pity,
I am not from the big city.
Sophistication is an art
I have not yet gart.
I’ve never had Chablis,
Modern art still eludes me.
But don’t you get rude,
Or even a little bit crude
Or I will show you some talent
From my side of the planet,
You’ll be field-dressed and gutted
And as a last touch- denutted.

Said a young lass from Alaska
“If I want yer opinion I’ll ask ‘ya!”
A maverick she was
With justifiable cause
Her very own party
Had treated her farty
So she said, “If ‘ya screw me then I’ll blast ‘ya!”


What If The Governments of the World Were Run Like Game Shows? (2/2)



Contestants will don the uniform of their countries secret police to torment detainees, both legitimate and innocent, for information.

The players will be judged on both the quality of the information acquired and the inventiveness of the techniques used to get that information. Read more What If The Governments of the World Were Run Like Game Shows? (2/2)


What If The Governments of the World Were Run Like Game Shows? (1/2)

In many countries of the world the government is the sole producer of all television broadcasting.

They decide what will be aired, what will be written, who will star in what and who will be shot for making the wrong joke.

What if they just went a step further and ran the governments just like they were game shows (aren’t they anyway?)
Maybe the results would be something like this: Read more What If The Governments of the World Were Run Like Game Shows? (1/2)


Do It Yourself Future News Headlines

If you look at enough different newspapers enough different times you find things can be quite similar.

The rags always seem to be re-circulating the same type of newsworthy cadavers again and again.

The names and the places change, but the content is cloned.

It gets to the point where you can pretty much predict what the ‘new’ news will be about before it even becomes happens.

In fact, one might as well make up his own news- it won’t be that different from the real event! It never stopped our new Glorious Leader! Read more Do It Yourself Future News Headlines


Immigration- For Once I Actually Agree With Something Trump Says.

Strange days indeed!- I actually agree with Trump on something.

First off, build that damn wall!!!!!

11 million Hispanics are living illegally in the U.S. and they have the cheek to insist that they are justified in doing so? Wrong! By sneaking across the border they have already shown that they have no respect for our laws by doing so. Are they going to respect the rest of the laws while they are here?

It is said that they are escaping poverty. Yes, but their countries were formed at the same time as ours and have abundant resources. Why are they not economically better off? Is is our fault they are poor?

Somewhat, yesl because we do tend to dominate the policies and the economies in this part of the world.

But a greater share of the reason would be that they have allowed themselves to be dominated by leaders and religions that tend towards repression and by domination by the landowners and the wealthy. Edward Abbey once said that we should send all illegals back to across the border but give them all a gun to cure the corrupt politics back home.

Temporarily restrict travel from seven Muslim countries who tend to have a lot of terrorists? Sounds sane to me! Give us some time to let muddy waters clear so we can make our homeland a little more safe. Quit yelling folks, it is a TEMPORARY ban, not permanent.

I wish as much yelling were made about the poverty in our own country with homelessness and working people not making enough to make the basics of life. The Sioux reservation in South Dakota is still the most poverty stricken district in the U.S. How about helping them to get the jobs that are going to immigrants?

The major reason we let in so many immigrants is that companies and businesses want a cheap source of labor. Remember- a bunch of guys got into the country on student visas and killed over 2,000 people by flying jets into buildings.

The ones shouting the loudest are the immigrants themselves (sorry, this really isn’t your country to begin with. Quit telling us what we are supposed to do with it). And, interestingly the tech industries. Gee, white collar geek guys, you are purposely hiring engineers and computer whizzes from foreign countries that use English as a business language because they will work cheaper than born in the USA people.

And now you are now pretending to be patriotic? It doesn’t fly, folks.

The protests have grown to be embarrassingly knee jerk and empty headed. It is mechanical to just go against everything our pseudo President-select says and does; that makes us just as bad as him. This same energy thrown into helping the ethnic groups already here would do wonders. We don’t need anymore people from elsewhere, at least for a while.

The various crisis’s in various countries are terrible but at some time people need to take care of their own problems. Running over here doesn’t solve them.

Too many think that the U.S., Canada and Europe are Shangri-La’s where everything is all rosy. It isn’t. The immigrants are usually shifted into the poorer neighborhoods where they have to fend for themselves. Their kids often join gangs of their own countrymen for protection and to get some of the financial circulation for themselves.

And how do they have to do it if they have no jobs? You know the answer already- drugs, theft, prostitution.

It used to be once upon a time that people did come over for genuine religious or freedom issues. Now for most it is because they see the U.S. as being one big bank where everyone is wealthy and has no troubles (although compared with some of the countries like Syria it is by comparison).

They want to tap into that bank.

They want a piece of the pie that they didn’t help bake.

We have enough people here already. More than enough.

A Chinese woman I knew managed to get out of mainland China and into Germany by agreeing to work as a computer technician on a stipend with free housing.

She left behind her child and husband to get out because she hated China so much. She did everything she could to stay there. When she mentioned she wouldn’t mind going to America too I told her that we had too many people already.

“No, America has lots of room!” she replied.

It does, if you compare it to China where they let their population explosion get away from them.

Too many times I have experienced foreigners pulling crap in this country. When I go to other countries I make it a point to be respectful and civil with the people there; a sentiment unfortunately ignored by many Americans I have seen go overseas. Many who come here see us as being fools or stupid and show no respect or regard what-so-ever.

Here are some examples I’ve experienced personally here in my own country to name just a few:

1. Being threatened by a large British man because he didn’t like it that I forbid alcohol consumption in a hostel I was running and didn’t let people run around wild like he thought I should.

2. At same hostel got punched in the eye by an anarchistic German who I was kicking out for being a jerk and suffered permanent eye damage.

3. Having a very pregnant illegal Hispanic woman ask me if I wanted to get married while I was working in her house. Turns out her relatives had put her up to it. If I would make a fake marriage with her she could get benefits. The real father had run out on her.

4. Had an Irish roommate here on a holiday visa but was working illegally marry an American just so he could get citizenship and the right to work. I actually got him a job (now I know better) and the boss started paying him and an illegal Aussie more than me. The Aussie still wanted to strike for more money even though he was illegal.

5, Had a big Swiss Hotel General Manager who had the swagger and character of a combination Teutonic Nazi, a white supremacist and a Mafia boss who would be physically and verbally intimidating, was racist and looked down on everyone. Why do we let these people into the country in the first place? He ended up choking on his own karma.

When doing construction work I was often put in charge of guiding the Hispanics, probably half of them illegal. I would always treat them well and try to communicate with them with what Spanish I knew. Then came the day when there was a foreman who was a Hispanic immigrant who had worked his way up. Suddenly they were treating me like crap because I was the minority. IN MY OWN COUNTRY! It was a wakening call for me.

Had a Hispanic gas station worker tell me there wasn’t any work there even though there was a sign up in the window. He was saving the job for one of his buddies.

Even that highly enlightened Comedy Central personality Carlo Mendez had an interview on his show asking a Hispanic guy at a work site if he would feel bad taking a job from an American. “Hell no!” he answered both laughing heartily about it.

Build that wall! We have enough people in this country to do the work we need done already. And we can be compassionate with the people who are here already; there are definitely enough of them.


A Country Gets The Leaders It Deserves

A Country Gets The Leaders It Deserves
An unfunny article-

There is an old saying that “a country gets the leaders it deserves.”

So what does that say about the United States and the choices it has made of late?

It says that we are now a superficial, gullible people, recognizing only projected and imagined qualities in a person. We are so in need of a hero in a land where self interest is the strongest passion that we imagine heroes where there is really only mundaneness. Read more A Country Gets The Leaders It Deserves